1st Grade Tales

On the Run Again

2011-12-07T20:25:00.004-07:00

So once upon a time I used to run a lot. Like training for a marathon a lot. It was my stress relief and plus I like food so when I ran I could eat whatever I wanted.

Then while training for a half marathon 2 years ago I got horrible news that no runner wants to hear - with less than a month to go before my race, the doctor said, "well, I won't tell you that you can't run in it but if you do, you will require surgery to repair the damage that will definitely occur."

Um, ok doc you win I'll sit it out and get all better. I'm not so much into having my achilles tendon cut and put back together again. He said that if I followed his plan I'd be all better in about 6-8 weeks.

He, also, said, "as you approach middle age you need to find other activities to stay active rather than running."

First of all, I'M NOT MIDDLE AGE!

Second, he's a liar! Two years later my foot still hurts - not all the time like it used to but the pain is still there.

Enter my new shoes (excuse this horrible picture)

A few weeks ago, my dear friend Julie and I were talking and she was telling me about her shoes and I totally copied her and bought some. The salesman at the store tried to talk me out of them telling me that they would make my foot worse. I mean he spent almost a half hour telling me about how I was going to regret this purchase. Maybe he doesn't work on commission??

Well, he's a liar too!

No, these shoes did not magically heal my achin foot but I can run without pain and they are cute too (you know, it is all about fashion!).

Half marathon here I come!!

168 Days

2011-11-15T20:23:00.006-07:00

168 days.

1008 hours.

60,480 minutes.

3,628,800 seconds.

That's the time I fought the battle with Mr. Needy before he finally lost his mind and had the final fit that was the proverbial "straw that broke the camel's back" and he stayed home the rest of the school year.

I spent many of those days begging for help only to be told there was nothing that could be done. I watched as 23 other children basically lost a whole year of their educational lives with my hands tied because of one child and "his rights".

One child who clearly needed help and despite the best efforts of some really wonderful people who did everything they could to support me and Mr. Needy, we clearly failed.

53 days.

That's how long his current teacher had to wait to get some relief. What did she do that I clearly wasn't able to do? Or who did she know?

Dunno but I know that she and her class must be relieved.

A couple of weeks ago I went to a training that was attended by Mr. Needy's new principal. She came over to say hello and asked me why we put up with the behavior all year. I could only shake my head and tell her that I had asked that question too many times to count. (I was secretly satisfied to know that his fits continued so they couldn't be blamed on me or the school any longer - although somehow I'm sure they are). Needless to say with 5 days of that conversation he was no longer a problem at that school.

I will spare you the details that I have learned but I do know that he is clearly a child who is begging for his mother's love and attention and until he consistently receives them both I doubt his behavior will change.

I wish his current class and teacher the best of luck.

And really I do hope that finally he can get some of the help that he so desperately needs.

Birthday Week

2011-11-14T19:48:00.003-07:00

I have lots of updates and stories but today I want to write about my own kiddos.

Years ago when my kiddos were wee little children I read an article about a tradition called birthday week where the author and her family celebrated birthdays for an ENTIRE WEEK! Small presents were given each day culivating with the big gift on the actual birthday.

It sounded like a good idea at the time -- back when the wants were legos and barbie dolls instead of the lastest video games and American Girl dolls. Every year I rack my brain for 7 perfect gifts for each of the kiddos and beg hubby to please just come up with one or two to help me out but usually that is to no avail.

Today is the last day of birthday weeks that started back on Nov. 4. The gifts this year included: a purse, sunglasses, pajamas, skinny jeans, Ugg boots (fake ones),DS game, DS charger, iTunes gift cards, xbox points, a dazzle dvd maker (don't ask I haven't a clue what it is other than it includes xbox and youTube), and Call of Duty Modern Warfare 3.

I'm glad it's over, I can't afford any more gift giving. Not to mention it's only 5 weeks until Christmas and now the lists are empty.

Oh and there was a trip to San Diego with their friends thrown in to boot.

How come when it's my birthday I don't get birthday week??

3am

2011-11-02T17:04:00.003-07:00

"Mom I can't sleep in the dark."

HUH???? How else do you sleep?

That's how I was awakened at the ungodly hour of 3am. Apparently my little town was experiencing a power outage but since it was the middle of the night I thought we all should have slept through it, but apparently not.

So instead of snoozing happily until my annoying alarm clock awakened me at 5:07am (I'm weird, I can't wake up at a normal even number time. Must be an OCD thing) I spent 2 hours talking to the little princess who thought since she couldn't sleep in the dark none of the rest of us should either.

Happy hump day!

Happiness

2011-11-01T21:07:00.011-07:00

A few things that make me happy in no particular order:

Ok since this is kinda a blog about teaching I'll include a few work related things.

1. People that turn in stuff when they are supposed to.

2. Early Release Wednesday

3. There are only 15 work days until Thanksgiving.

4. We get 2 1/2 weeks off for Christmas!!!!!!!!

MIA

2011-10-28T20:32:00.000-07:00

I have been MIA for a really, really long time but really it has been for a good reason. I don't teach 1st grade any more so how can I have 1st grade tales? I really thought that I was just going to pack this up and move along but truth be told I miss my little blog and the few people who read it.

In the past week I have had conversations with several people who asked when I was going to write again and so I'm back. I don't know where this blog is headed and honestly I have no clue what the heck I'm going to write about. I do have a couple of updates on Mr. Stinky Attitude and Mr. Needy that probably need to be told but other than that I'm kind of at a loss.

So sit back and enjoy the journey with me.

(And if you don't mind I'll probably throw in some nonschool stuff and if you do mind sorry charlie)

The End is Near

2011-05-09T20:01:00.004-07:00

Well I wish I had a good reason for not posting but really I don't. It's not that I didn't have anything to post (HAHA wish that was the case) but more I just didn't feel like it. There I said it.
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There are 12 days left. Yes, 12. Seems like a short time but something tells me it's going to be a L O N G 12 days.
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To say that today was one for the record books would be an understatement. Due to the circumstances I think that the details are best not shared here in blog world. However, I will say that the events cemented some things for me. Sorry once again no can share here (just yet).

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On a totally different note, Mr. Sticky Attitude brought two friends and had lunch with me today. We talked about our "battles" from last year and it was kind of funny to hear his perspective. He might still be a pain in his teacher's rear end but I'll take him any day!

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While my struggles continue with Mr. Needy and well let's just say that he has completely gone over the edge, I needed to share the letter that I got from him for Teacher Appreciation Week last week.

My Teacher is Special Because she is fune and she is a beduful lade and nice and cool and she is in my heart and the best teacher and I love yuo so most and I will miss you wine I go to sekin grad.

If you don't "read 1st grade" here is the translation:

My Teacher is Special Because she is funny and she is a beautiful lady and nice and cool and she is in my heart and the best teacher and I love you so much and I will miss you when I go to second grade.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, isn't that sweet??? Ya, I thought so ... at the time too.

Catch-Up

2011-04-07T18:38:00.003-07:00

Wow .... opppss it's been almost a month since I posted anything and it certainly isn't because of lack of content.

In keeping with my attempt to have 5 positives for every negative, I will start with the more upbeat.

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There are 33 days of school left.

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Conversation during a field trip to a local farm/nutrition program -

Man: "Boys and girls do you know what this is?"

Looks of confusion abound.

Man: "This is a hoe. It's spelled H-O-E."

Kiddo: "Isn't that a bad word?"

Man: spurting, shuttering - "Um, well"

Me: "Nope it's used in the garden for weeds"

Kiddo: "Oh, I'm pretty sure that was a bad word"

Man: Looks at me and shrugs

Me: "Just move on"

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Conversation while teaching the kids about friendly letters

Me: "Who might we want to write a letter to?"

Kiddo: "Do you write a letter to your boyfriend?"

Another Kiddo: "Dude, she has a MR. DAVIS. No, she doesn't write a letter to any boys, there's a Mr. Davis and he isn't a boy."

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While on a field trip last week, a student from another class fell into a cactus. It was karma that I crashed my mountain bike and fell into a cholla cactus myself 4 days later.

In case you were wondering and thinking about falling into a cactus, don't do it. Pulling out the individual spines hurts worse than childbirth.

Swear to goodness it does. Trust me, I've done them both (unlike my husband who has done neither but swears I'm lying),
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Did I mention 33 days left??

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Conversation with a student who was late:

Me: "Why were you late today?"

Kiddo: "The cops had guns in my Grandma's face"

Me: "Excuse me?"

Kiddo: "Ya, they had guns in her face and she was crying."

Me: "Um, ok. Is she ok?"

Kiddo: "Ya, she's fine."
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Ok, since I had some positives here's my gripe -

Dear Parent,

No, I don't pick on your child. It is not my fault he can't behave in my classroom, in the hall, in PE, in the cafeteria, in reading group, or really any where else. No one is buying the fact that he doesn't ever act like that at home. I have kids and job too so don't you dare throw out the fact that you can't be bothered to come to the scheduled meeting that YOU set up because you are too busy. Maybe if you got unbusy and showed up we could do something about it. I've shown up early several times now and you have been a no-show. If you think he needs to be "taken to a safe place" when he needs to cool down then maybe just maybe he needs some other help that we as a school cannot provide. Just sayin, maybe I'm not the one who is the problem.

Love,
Me

One Year - 365 days

2011-03-09T20:56:00.003-07:00

Funny quote of the day:

Quite alarmed Mr. Needy - "Mrs. Davis!!! You only have 4 toes!!" (for the record I have 5 toes one was just out of sight in my shoe)

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A year ago, I could never have imagined that I would ever want to see the face of Mr. Stinky Attitude again much less want to spend time with him. However, time heals all wounds as they say ...

Mr. Stinky Attitude's teacher asked me a couple of weeks ago if he could join me for lunch on Friday's if he had a good week (this was his request. Who could have seen that one coming???). I think she thinks I am out of my mind, but I said I would love if I could have lunch with him. I won't lie and say he has been incredibly successful but he has joined me a couple times. This past week, he came with 2 other friends and I spent some time talking with them.

"My birthday is Friday"

"I know. Are you excited?"(I really did know. Why, I don't know but I remembered)

"Yeah, I'm going to have a party ... well, maybe."

"That sounds fun. What are you hoping to get for your birthday?"

"Paper Jamz drums. I already have the guitar but I really want the drums."

What the heck are Paper Jamz I'm thinking but I say, "Oh that sounds cool."

"Ya, they are awesome!"

So tonight I made a journey to the local Wal-Mart and found myself in the toy section looking at the Paper Jamz. Then I found myself putting the drums into my cart and finding a bag it could fit it with a card. And I found myself at a check stand buying Paper Jamz drums for a little boy who made just as big of an impact (if not more) in my life than I have maybe made in his.

Guess time does give a new perspective.

Disclaimer - Just for the record I have no affiliation with Paper Jamz (in fact I'm still not sure what the heck they are) or the company that makes them or Wal-Mart or anything else that might get me in trouble with the FCC for whatever you get in trouble with the FCC for

Mr. Davis

2011-03-03T19:49:00.004-07:00

Birthdays are a huge deal in 1st grade. Cupcakes, juice boxes, cookies, etc. are the norm. Not a big fan of anything that I have to distribute and clean up but that's another story.

Today is Mr. Davis' birthday and a couple of days ago I mentioned it to the kiddos. "Tell him I said happy birthday." "No, tell him I said happy birthday." "No, me." "No, me."

"OK, enough already!"

Like all 1st graders, they always remember the little details about your life that are shared, so naturally they all remembered the whole Mr. Davis birthday thing today. Too bad they can't remember all the other stuff I'm teaching as well.

"Mrs. Davis, how old is Mr. Davis today?"

"14", I answer.

"14?"

"Yup, 14", I answer again trying to get them to move on.

"Man, he's a LOT younger than you Mrs. Davis."

I actually had to stop and laugh out loud. See another reason to teach 1st grade, they are such good reminders of old age.

Painted Toes

2011-03-02T20:11:00.002-07:00

"You painted your toes"

That is what I heard when I should have been hearing silence while I was teaching (or rather attempting to teach).

You see, the weather is perfect. Literally, perfect. The reason you live in Arizona perfect. Sunny, 80 degrees slight breeze. (Sorry had to rub that in a bit for my friends in the colder regions of the world and yes, Jules you can rub that in when it is 115 here in a few months). This perfect weather caused me to wear sandals for the 1st time in many months and thus show off my red toenails with white polka dots.

So instead of paying attention to my teaching, apparently the focus was on my toes. I just had to laugh especially because of who it was that said it .... Mr. Needy.

BLAH

2011-03-01T20:52:00.003-07:00

Wow! I can't believe it's been 2 weeks since I have written anything. Trust me it is not because I don't have anything to write about, it is more of a lack of effort on my part.

It is the time of the year. The "blah" time between Christmas break and Spring Break. I truly think it is one of the hardest times of the year (other than the first week of course). But as the "light at the end of the tunnel" of Spring Break approaches maybe I will emerge from my "blah". Maybe or maybe not.

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My Valentine's Day started with a breathless Mr. Stinky Attitude running into my classroom as the tardy bell rang. His hands were full with a huge heart shaped tin of Hershey kisses (I love that boy!). I wish he and I could have had more days like that - him actually bringing a smile to my face.

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Mr. Needy has had an amazing turn around. Sometimes one can catch a break! However, the same can't be said for SEVERAL of the others (so maybe I didn't really catch the break I thought I did).

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I got called for jury duty at the United States District Court. It starts the week after Spring Break (perhaps I did catch a break).

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It's all down hill after Spring Break (which by the way is in less than 10 days)!

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It's not a good day in 1st Grade until someone cries (even if it's me).

Trials

2011-02-16T19:51:00.003-07:00

Life is not measured by our trials but rather by our perseverance and our responses to those trials.

I am sure that some famous person probably said that (but if not hands off I own the rights!) but it was something that I have been thinking about recently. I have to admit that my responses to my "trials" have probably at times made the situation worse. You see at times it is almost like contempt of teacher (not always but at times). I am the boss, if I say do something you do it. Period. End of Story. If you choose to ignore me or act crazy, well then there just simply must be consequences for your behavior.

But life doesn't always go like that even if I want it to.

You see sometimes in my quest to make sure there is a consequence, the problem gets bigger than it needs to be. So I'm really trying hard to just ignore the annoying little behaviors that kiddos are doing to just get under my skin and drive me just a little more nuts than I already am. You want to sit under your desk - fine by me. You want to cry - go ahead. You're mad at me - oh well. You hate me - I don't like you that much right now either.

All that to say that I am trying to look at my "trials" in a new light. Does it always work? Oh heck no, not even close.

But like a good friend told me, sometimes you have to take it hour by hour rather than day by day. Often success is measured in small increments rather than as a whole.

Charter School

2011-02-11T21:15:00.004-07:00

I am a huge believer in the public school system and not only because it pays my salary. I have been that person that rolled their eyes when someone told me that their child went to this or that charter school. Good luck with that was my thought. But that was then and well, this is now. Yes, I agree that there are definitely things that are irrevocably broken and in need of repair but unlike many people I try not to blame the teachers.

Notice I say, try ....

I did something this week that I never thought that I would ever do in a million years. I, a teacher in the public school system, withdrew my child from said school system and placed him in a charter school and an online charter school at that (yes, that means he stays home all day and does his work on the computer. It sounded cool to him at first too until reality set in.).

Does that mean that I have lost faith in my own profession? Yes and no. Do I completely blame the teachers? No. Do I completely blame my son? No.

So I am embarking on a new journey - that of teaching a classroom of 1st graders and then coming home and teaching my own child. So far it's been exhausting but I think in the end we are both going to be the better for it.

Thank You

2011-02-02T20:59:00.004-07:00

There are certain people in our lives that we should just always be able to count on. Those people that will have your back no matter what. No questions asked. No opinions given (unless they are requested). Just true loyalty.

I am blessed to have a few wonderful friends who have been a tremendous support to me over the years and especially over this school year. I don't need to say who they are, they know who they are. But what I do need to say is a giant thank you.

THANK YOU

... for always listening to me whine.
... for offering a shoulder to cry on.
... for being supportive when "other" people in my life should be but aren't.
... for just letting me know they care with little cards or gifts.
... for not saying I told you so even when they wanted to.
... for being completely honest whether I wanted to hear it or not.
... for encouraging me when I don't think I can take it anymore.
... for being my rock.

But most of all, thank you for just being you. Loyalty is a rarity these days and it doesn't go unnoticed even if I do seem caught in my own craziness.

My Response

2011-02-01T21:26:00.005-07:00

Ok, my irritation got the best of me (darn type-A personality).

Rather than giving you the whole kit and kaboodle here are the highlights:

Dear (higher than mighty psych)

While I can appreciate your pointers, you have to remember that I have 21 other kiddos in the class and my class can not revolve around one student. To expect neither of us to be frustrated is like sticking our heads in the sand and pretending that it doesn't exist.

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH ..........................

You have to understand that there is a great deal of direct instruction in 1st grade and his inability to not disturb the rest of the class disrupts the learning of all the students. We are at a point where we need to be thinking about different solutions that will be more positive for (whiny kiddo) and for the rest of the class.

I don't mean sound less than positive but I really think that we have to be more realistic.

Sincerely,
(Seriously irritated lowly teacher)

So my question is -- how does anyone expect me to get anything done?? Ever??

The Email

2011-02-01T20:00:00.002-07:00

Below is an excerpt from an actual real-life email that I received from the school psycho (ok she really is the school psychologist) today about one of my students. The names have been changed to protect the innocent (or the ridiculous) and a couple "sensitive" parts have been omitted as to not reveal the true identity of anyone involved. Oh ya, and I highlighted a few of my "favorite" parts (insert sarcasm here)

Hi ladies,

Here are some notes regarding what can work with "whiny kiddo":

1. If he is trying to tell you something, tell him to draw it. This will allow him to say what he has to tell you, instead of him constantly getting up and bugging you after you tell him to sit down. This allows him (and you) to stay calm and not get so frustrated.

2. Use LOTS of nonverbal cues/gestures/symbols with "whiny kiddo". His nonverbal skills are great! . He is a very smart boy, you just have to know how to communicate with him.

3. Use lots of positive praise. Lots of high fives, smiles, etc. I know we say to do this for everyone, but "whiny kiddo" can be easily overwhelmed and frustrated. Some positive reinforcement (especially when he is starting to get to that point) can help avoid a meltdown and turn his day around.

I hope these help everyone feel less frustrated, especially "whiny kiddo". He's only been here a few weeks, let's try to be positive and help him succeed.

Please let me know if I can provide any more pointers.

I had a very nice, lovely (once again insert sarcasm) response typed out and was about to hit the send button. I decided that maybe sometimes silence is the best policy but by tomorrow I might rethink that. The more time I spend thinking about it the more insulted I am.

I mean this is the woman that couldn't spend 10 minutes in my classroom last week. Get over yourself crazy psych lady.

PS - My intended response was this - "Ya uh huh ... you come spend 7 hours a day doing all these wonderful POINTERS with him and then we will talk. I have 21 other students in my chaotic classroom and I am not his babysitter. When you can manage him and the rest of them, I will welcome all the suggestions in the world you have"

Magic Stickers

2011-01-27T21:05:00.002-07:00

I'm not a big fan of school psychologists. There I said it -- aloud for the whole wide world to read.

It's not that they aren't nice people with probably good intentions but well, it is my experience that they have a lot of text book knowledge that is simply not practical. Ok, I shouldn't make such broad generalizations but well like they say one bad apple (or 2 or 3) can spoil the whole bunch.

The answer to every behavior problem is not to just give them a sticker. Come on now ... really??? The last thing a kiddo with serious emotional/academic/behavioral issues needs is a sticker. Your help and expertise - yes. A sticker or some other stupid gimmick - no!

Ok, all that being said I have to laugh at the situation that unfolded in my classroom this week. School psych (this one is really nice and knowledgeable as opposed to some of the others but ...) comes in to observe a certain student. Certain student is doing just fine (of course that always happens) but what she actually saw was the chaos that is my world. About two weeks ago, I got a new student who clearly needs more than I can provide (read he needs one-on-one support all the time) and he was thrown into the mix. I mean that addition was just logical to me too. What's one more? We barely can get any learning done anyhow. This particular student follows me around the classroom literally pulling at my clothes, muttering in incoherent talk, and crying when I have to deal with the others. Like I said, it was a no-brainer that I get him ....

Ok, back to my story ...

I've pretty much learned to tune out said clothes pulling child but said school psych was driven crazy by his insistent whining. She spent 20 minutes "observing" and literally couldn't take it any more. After school she found me and said, "I don't know how you do that, 20 mins. drove me nuts".

"Try doing it for 7 hours."

"Oh my goodness, I can't imagine."

"Haha, well good thing you don't have to. Still think he belongs in a regular classroom rather than in a more appropriate place?"

"Oh my goodness, I need to talk to someone. Clearly, this isn't right. We were led to believe he would be ok."

Funny how I've been saying this for weeks but who would really listen to the person who actually has to deal with it??

Maybe if I just give him a sticker, he will be magically fixed.

Who knew stickers had such magic powers??

I do know that pretty soon I'm going to need a new wardrobe because mine is getting pretty stretched out.

Conversations

2011-01-20T20:36:00.003-07:00

"Mrs. Davis, I have to tell you that Mr. Needy told me yesterday he really needed you to come back today. He missed you and doesn't want you to be gone anymore" - AHHHH that's sweet .... or so I thought

"Mrs. Davis, (insert boys name) just stabbed (insert other boys name) in the (insert body part .... yes that one) when we were in the bathroom" - Why did he take a pencil to the bathroom you ask??? Your guess is as good as mine.

"I don't want to" - too bad, so sad

"I don't like you" - funny, I don't particularly like you much either

"My mom said if someone punches me I can punch back harder"

"Tell him that if will just stop crying his granny will take him to get an ice cream at Water and Ice" - nice reinforcement, thanks grandma I appreciate that support

"He says he's crying because he is hungry" - well perhaps if you fed him some breakfast before you sent him to school he wouldn't be hungry

"Tell him that if he stops crying I will bring him a lunchable" - again nice reinforcement (I wouldn't stop crying either, maybe if I held out long enough they would offer me a million dollars to stop crying)

"I hate you" - ya well, get over it

"Your not nice" - nope I'm not

"Please don't call in sick tomorrow"

"Please don't quit"

"Mrs. Davis, Mr. Needy lost his mind in PE and hurt a bunch of people" - wonder if he got the ice cream they promised if he stopped crying??

"Someone must have done something to him for him to hurt someone else. Mr. Needy would never act like that" - ya, ummm ok ... if you believe that I have some oceanfront property here in Arizona I can sell you

"We were really naughty today Mrs. Davis" - yes, yes you were

"Wow, it sounds like you had quite a day" - it's like this each and every day

"I'm so sorry" - don't be sorry do something (anything) to fix it

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

2011-01-19T11:59:00.005-07:00

The Good

* Mr. Needy has had a few good weeks(knock on wood). Julie, maybe you were right that he will become my Mr. Stinky Attitude next year. I see a glimmer of hope there.

* Mr. Stinky Attitude's teacher asked if he could come have lunch with me once a week if he has had a good week. He has been there the past 2 weeks so maybe he has turned a corner. I don't get why he wants to come in because I can't spend time with him while he is there because I am teaching but he still wants to come ... go figure.

* There are only 83 days of school left.

The Bad

* My class scores are horrible pretty much all the way around. It could be the fact that we re-invent the wheel every whip stitch or the fact that I spend 80% dealing with various naughtiness.

* I now have 5 special ed kids out of 22. Way too many for one class (no wonder my scores are in the toilet)

* I hate the statement, "I'm sorry you just do so good with them. I needed an experienced teacher". We are all experienced and maybe I'll just stop doing "so good" with "them".

* There are 83 days of school left.

The Ugly

* I now have 6 kiddos that act like Mr. Needy. Huh? Wonder why that is?

* There are days I don't want to go to school but it is way too much work to get a substitute and deal with the aftermath when I come back.

* There are 83 days of school left.

Reality

2011-01-11T21:10:00.002-07:00

"Mrs. Davis, a little girl got shot and died"

His voice was barely a whisper and it wasn't really a time he should be talking. We were in the middle of reading and I was trying to teach. I resisted the urge to shush him but I tried to talk quietly back to him nonetheless.

"Yes, I know sweetie" I answered back in a whisper

"She was 9. We had a moment of silence yesterday." (I have been absent the past few days)

"Did the sub talk to you guys about it?" (Kinda worried how that conversation went)

"Ya. I watched it on TV. Did you know that she was in 3rd grade?"

I almost cried right then and there.

I don't know about you but I have watched in horror the terrible and senseless tragedy that occurred in Tucson this past weekend. Six people died but thousands if not millions more have been effected; even 6 year olds who despite the fact that they shouldn't, know all too well about shootings, stabbings, etc. It's sad that our children have to see and hear and wonder if that same thing could happen to them.

I could only sit and imagine a classroom in Tucson where this reality hit them head on.

Living the Dash

2011-01-07T06:17:00.002-07:00

I don't make New Year's Resolutions. That doesn't mean that I don't kind of reevaluate my life at the start of a new year and think of what I would like to change in the upcoming year. A new year is kind of like a new box of crayons, all fresh and new and ready to be used in all kinds of ways.

But sometimes something happens in your life that makes you take a little harder look. Over the Christmas Break my uncle passed away. We were not close and in fact I rarely spent any of my 36 years around him but it still got me thinking. We all have heard the cliche about how your tombstone has a date of birth and a date of death but it is the dash between that really matters. The dash doesn't tell the story, it's just a dash, what will be your legacy, blah, blah, blah ....

So while I don't make resolutions, I will call this a goal. I want to live the dash. I'm not sure what that really means to me right now but it's something that I have been thinking about.

One thing that I do know is that I need to "not sweat the small stuff" (if you know me, you know that is virtually impossible for this type-A personality). I'm not naive enough (anymore) to think I can save the world or maybe even one kiddo. I can't change their home situations or anything else outside of the school and so while I'm not giving up on the kiddos, I have to try and not let it rule my world. It is what it is.

I have to live my dash.

Oh and of course like 90% of people around the world, I would like to get healthier this year and it wouldn't hurt to lose a few pounds.

The Student is now the Teacher

2010-12-21T21:22:00.003-07:00

What to do when the student becomes the teacher? It really is an interesting dynamic and it proves to me just how smart one little kiddo is.

Let me back track just a bit.

As I explained last week, Mr. Needy was "paroled" and I was more than just a little skeptical about the whole thing. You see, my other 19 kiddos have seen his "example" the past 85 days of school (heck yes I'm counting!! 95 more to go if you care) and several of them are following his fit throwing example (yes, I know .. lucky me you are thinking).

"Mrs. Davis, he can't act like that. That is unacceptable behavior and he needs to go"

"Yes, Mr. Needy you are right it is unacceptable behavior."

"Well, he needs to go because you can't act like that in here. He needs to go to Kindergarten."

Ok, now I am just trying to (a) not laugh and (b) not be sarcastic. Really, Mr. Needy? Really?? That was you just last week!

"Thank you, Mr. Needy I have it under control"

"Well, I'm just sayin, you can't act like that in here. Maybe he needs to be suspended."

"Mr. Needy thank you but really I'm dealing with it."

"I'm just sayin ...."

The student has now become the teacher. Perhaps I have created a monster.

Indian Giver

2010-12-13T19:49:00.003-07:00

Way back when I was in school and before political correctness we used to sit "Indian style" which has now been replaced by "criss cross applesauce" and there was such a thing as an "Indian giver". Oh come on, you know you used the term too so don't judge me! Well, I have to say I was never a big fan of "Indian givers" and that remains just as true today as it did years ago when I was a kiddo.

The things taken away over the years have changed but the feelings have not. I used to get myself all excited to play with my new item only to be sadly disappointed when that person pulled the rug out from under me and took away my new prize possession. Now it is not possessions that I lose but rather my sanity.

Last week, Mr. Needy had yet another "outburst" and as a result I was granted a 9 day reprieve of the behavior. Today that rug was pulled out from under me when Mr. Needy was given "parole" and released early from his sentence. Apparently, that kind of thing doesn't just happen in jails or prisons. Who knew??

Time off for good behavior perhaps? Now that's just laughable ....

The Naughty List

2010-12-08T21:04:00.003-07:00

So every time I have thought about writing recently I stop myself and think no one really wants to hear you whine anymore so wait until you have something really good. Ahh your thinking, I must have something really good then, right?

Wrong!

I just finally decided to make myself write something ... anything ...

So I thought I'd give you all a little good and well a little more bad. Since my school is trying Positive Behavior something-r-rather this year (it's acronym is PBIS but for the life of me I can't remember all the letters only the 1st two) they have been drilling us that every negative interaction should have 5 positive interactions (I could tell you my opinion about this but .... well I'll let you guess) and you should always start with a positive; thus I will start with the positive.

1. It is Christmas time in 1st grade. They still believe in Santa and well, they think I can actually call him. Apparently me and Santa are BFF's and I have a hotline to the North Pole. You would think this would be a good thing since I apparently have the power to move them to the naughty list where you get the "black round messy stuff" but well ...

2. I love Christmas music and kids love to sing Christmas music -- It's a regular sing-a-long every morning in my classroom (maybe that should be on the bad list)

3. I love to hear them talk about Christmas and Santa and how they think that all works.

4. 6 year old's almost always tell the truth (even if their mother is the one sitting right in front of you lying to your face) provided the truth they are telling does not get them in trouble in any way.

5. Oh ya, I almost forgot I got a $700 grant from Target to fund a field trip. That makes me 3 for 3 on the grants this year! $2350 my class/school didn't have at the start of the year!

6. I finally am getting a little support (notice I said little but hey, I'll take what I can get)

7. I haven't resorted to drinking (you laugh but well....you ever seen all the teacher's hanging out at the bar on payday Friday?)

8. My kiddos that can continue through a test through what they had to experience this morning (and too many other mornings) are rock stars! You try doing anything at all with someone screaming at the top of their lungs and see how you can handle that! Rock stars I tell ya!

Ok, enough of that cheeriness --- on with the bad:

1. Parents need to step up and take responsibility. You are not helping your child by lying, making veiled threats (or not so veiled threats), blaming everyone else, etc. I am not the reason your child can not seem to function like the rest of the students. I do not intentionally set him off (it's tempting sometimes, though) or do anything else but bend over backwards for him and your family. It's time to be the mom and realize your part in the problem. For goodness sakes, GET HIM THE HELP HE OBVIOUSLY NEEDS and stop playing the blame game!! (And by the way, it has nothing to do with race, so don't try to play that card either)

2. Mr. Needy's behaviors have rubbed off on a great number of other students. Great, like I can handle even 1 much less 3 or 4 more.

3. I swear to goodness if you don't walk in my shoes please don't give me your opinion. What you see in the hall or on the playground or the 5 minutes you spend in my room wasting my time is just a snapshot of my day. You want to deal with it for 6 hours every single day and then give me your opinion - great - until then just shut up.

4. No, I am not participating in the Christmas party, Secret Santa, Social Committee, or anything else that costs me money. It is not that I can't afford, it is because I don't want to. (Not that it is anyone's business why)

5. I am not giving each of my kiddo stockings or decorating my classroom this year. Why? I was asked (by my Principal no less) ... Hmmmm .... see #4

6. Someone told me the other day that Mr. Needy will be my Mr. Stinky Attitude next year. Sorry not seeing it. I know I couldn't see the light at the end of that tunnel either but ... ya .. no..

The Positive Behavior folks also say that I should end with a positive so here goes - Mr. Needy will not be my problem for awhile and I will not miss that roller coaster ride. (opps, did I accidentially throw a negative in there?)

Immediate Consequences

2010-12-01T21:35:00.003-07:00

The Powers that Be - I think he needs to have an immediate consequence.

Me - Umm, yes that is what I have been trying to tell you.

The Powers that Be - Ok, I'll figure out a consequence

Me - Well, if you want it to be immediate doesn't it have to happen now?

The Powers that Be - But I have to think about it because I'm not sure what I want to do and what direction we should head.

****************

Tell me if I'm wrong but if there has to be an "immediate consequence", doesn't it defeat the purpose to have to think about it? I mean I might be wrong but all I know is Mr. Needy was having a decent day (for him at least) and his "immediate consequence" from an incident yesterday blindsided both of us. I don't blame him for a second for thinking it wasn't fair or not understanding what was going on. Heck, I really didn't understand what was going on.

It started with a phone call - "Mrs. Davis, I need you to get some work ready for Mr. Needy."

"Ok, how much work? Work for today? Work for multiple days?"

"Wellll (I swear that is "their" favorite word) he is going to spend the day in Mrs. So and So's room."

"Ok, and what's the plan after that?"

"Wellll, we are working on that right now."

"You are working on it?"

"Ya, we are working on it."

The best part was when she came to get Mr. Needy and asked me if I told him what was going on. Haha ... that's funny ... Ummm no .... Are you kidding me? If I tell him what's going on he's going to throw himself on the floor and I'm going to have to deal with him. On the other hand, if you tell him after you have him in the hall he is no longer my problem. It was a no-brainer to me.

Oh, and I guess "they" are still working on a plan because I didn't hear another word about that other than a reiteration that we have to have "immediate consequences". Ya and good luck getting him to participate in those "immediate consequences" but at least it sounds good, right?

Life

2010-11-23T20:56:00.003-07:00

I often wonder how a day that started so promising could go to hell in a hand basket so quickly. I mean, you get up (reluctantly), shower, and go about your normal daily routine and then at some point, life slaps you in the face and reminds you that life is not all rainbows and unicorns.

As a grown up, I know that the world is not all happy and no matter what I do I simply can't change that fact - life is rough and full of disappointments. It is often those people that we count on the most that let us down the hardest (a very sad reality). The same is true of the kiddos in my classroom. Their lives are often harder than they should be and full of way more disappointments than a 6 year old should have to bear.

When I was a kiddo, there was no coddling like there is today. Ok, you are right, I didn't walk to school 10 miles uphill both ways barefoot in waist deep snow but I can guarantee you, I had a much more sense of reality than kiddos these days. There was no worry about damaging my fragile self-esteem and little league baseball games actually had winners or losers and you know what - my teacher could actually paddle my butt at school if I misbehaved.

I had a conversation with a family member of Mr. Needy today and she was wondering how things went so wrong with kids today. Her take - when teachers couldn't spank at school anymore. My take - when parents started letting the kids be the parents and parents wanted to be more friend than parent.

All I know is if I behaved the way some do, I would not have been able to sit down for a week!

The Rules of 1st grade

2010-11-17T19:43:00.002-07:00

Disclosure: I saw these rules on another blog that I read and just had to re-post them. Some of them are borrowed from the original writer but I added a bit of my own take and some of them are completely applicable to my own world.

1. If there are nine pairs of red scissors, and one pair of yellow scissors, you must fight to the death for the yellow scissors.

2. If you are supposed to go to bathroom during lunch recess, it is okay to just ignore that rule and go to the bathroom later, like right in the middle of math - who needs math anyway, right?

3. If the teacher doesn't see your raised hand, it's perfectly acceptable to leave your desk and go tap on her arm to get her attention - and to continue tapping until you are acknowledged.

4. It's okay to take a toy to school with you, especially if you're really good at hiding it. But most importantly, it is important to tell on anyone else who brought a toy to school in order to divert attention away from your own toy.

5. If there's a cricket/cockroach/fly/moth in the classroom, it's your responsibility to stop instruction and direct everyone's attention to the critter. Crying, yelling, pointing and saying "ew" are all acceptable ways in which to command everyone's attention.

6. It's okay to talk to your neighbor when a classmate is talking, but it's inexcusable that someone else should be talking when you are the one talking.

7. Whoever gets away with the most silly antics as we line up in the hall, wins.

8. As you walk single file down the hall, if student number 12 gives a high five to a teacher passing by, students 13 through 23 also get to give that teacher a high five.

9. Any time a question is asked, if one student tells the class that they went to a Chinese restaurant over the weekend, three to five more students need to share how they went to a BETTER Chinese restaurant over the weekend.

10. If you don't get your way it is perfectly acceptable to throw yourself on the floor and cry. Oh, and while you are at it, go ahead and throw your shoes and chair and anything else you want. Don't worry, you won't get a consequence.

11. As soon as you are not prepared, the Principal will come in and want to "observe". Doesn't matter if you are prepared every other day - the minute you aren't, the door will magically open and there he will be.

12. You're special. The classroom rules really just apply to everyone else.

Shake my Head

2010-11-16T19:23:00.003-07:00

Sometimes all you can do is just shake your head and laugh. I mean really what is the alternative?

Cry? (not my style)
Scream? (Hmmmm, that one is tempting)
Throw myself on the floor? (Might actually try that sometime.)
Get mad? (What's the point?)

So really I have no other alternative - shake my head and laugh it is.

At some point, maybe someone will do something (probably not) and maybe they won't (this is more likely). But all getting upset about it will do is stress me out and frankly at my age (kidding) that is clearly not healthy.

So if you ever feel like shaking your head and laughing with me, come on over for a visit but remember you have to have good reflexes or else you might get hit by a flying shoe or worse - a chair.

Don't worry though - he didn't mean to do it and if he just knew how to read all his behavior would be magically cured.

My Day

2010-11-15T19:37:00.003-07:00

My day in a nutshell:

1. I had to leave school early on Friday for a meeting for my son (that's a whole other story) so I came into a disorganized mess and 45 minutes to get it together before the kiddos got there.

2. I had another teacher watch my kiddos while I went to try and make some copies and one student threatened to "shank" another student (nice, huh?? They are only 6 and he knows that word)

3. The copier was broken (yet again).

4. Mr. Needy was somewhat ok in the morning (notice how I say in the morning)

5. I spent my lunch with a kiddo who can't seem to get his act together.

6. When discussing what happens when we eat too much junk food, Mr. Needy said, "We have to poop". Ok, I just had to laugh out loud. Not exactly the answer I was going for, but ....

7. Our school was treated to a really cool BMX bike show.

8. I think I should have been a BMX bike rider. The kids really think they are cool - I'm only kinda cool compared to that!

9. Things were going great until Mr. Needy started throwing rocks and I removed him from the rest of the kidds, he decided throwing shoes was way more fun that throwing rocks.

10. Mr. Needy refused to come back to class after the BMX show.

11. The assistant principal brought Mr. Needy back to class, thought he was complying but she was sadly mistaken.

12. Mr. Needy threw himself on the floor, threw his shoes (yet, again) and starting banging his head on my file cabinet. (Why? you ask ... well, your guess is as good as mine)

13. Principal came to my classroom and begged, pleaded, tried to coerce Mr. Needy out of the classroom but of course he wouldn't budge (and we, of course, wouldn't want him to make him do anything)

14. Mr. Needy was still in my classroom after I dismissed all the kids, gossiped in the office, talked to Mr. Stinky Attitude's grandma, and generally tried to waste time so I didn't have to hear his screaming.

15. Finally, grandma convinced him that he had to go home (screaming and crying and all).

16. Silence at last!

PS - I did get all the disorganization taken care of even in the midst of all the chaos.

The Note

2010-11-09T20:50:00.003-07:00

The paper was rolled up and sitting on a chair next to my classroom.

Hmmm, what the heck is that? And why did someone leave it right outside the door? At least they could have actually used the trashcan that sits maybe a foot from it. I was irritated to say the least.

It had been one of "those" mornings. You know "those" mornings where your favorite coffee cup has been taken by your husband, you can't find the keys since your husband borrowed your car the night before and he isn't answering his cell phone now and your keys are nowhere in sight, and your daughter won't just pick an outfit and get dressed for school. Well, I don't particularly like to start my day like that, it makes me grumpy, so this piece of paper on the chair just irritated me more. I know it was just a piece of paper and it shouldn't have been a big deal but ... well, it's my world and I can be irritated by a piece of paper.

I grabbed the paper and realized that it was rolled closed and held together with a paper clip. Ok, clearly maybe it wasn't trash after all. Intrigued, I unrolled the paper and found a huge drawn heart with my name and the name of the kiddo that left it. It made my heart melt.

Little notes with hearts started from this kiddo several weeks ago along with my several times a day hug. He's a 2nd grader that somehow finds a way to sneak and find me when he is supposed to be doing something else I'm sure. He (like most of them) has a rough life but every day he comes and gives me a huge hug and tells me if he is having a good day (he always says he is but well... that's another story).

There are a lot of times lately that I get caught up in how horrible Mr. Needy is acting and how the others are starting to act up also. It's those times that admittedly I don't like my job very much, if at all.

But then there are those moments that I wouldn't trade for the world and those moments are why I put up with all of the other junk.

Sad Reality

2010-11-04T20:44:00.003-07:00

My relationship with "Angela" started four years ago. She was a very angry child, even back then as a Kindergartner. Frankly, you would be angry too if your mom sent you to school every day in an over-sized man's white t-shirt that was filthy dirty. Well, truth be told I don't think mom sent her anywhere dressed any which way because mom was likely passed out when she went school. She is the 6th of 7 children with a single mom and a dad who spends more time in jail than out.

When I met her she never smiled, couldn't write her own name, didn't know any of her alphabet and honestly, she didn't really know much of anything. When I say she never smiled I really mean she scowled all the time - literally. I'm not sure what she was so angry about but given her circumstances it's likely it had nothing to do with her feelings about me, although I seemed to take the brunt of it.

If this were one of those "happy ending" stories, I would tell you how I made a huge difference in this child's life and I turned around her academic failure and she became the model student who was overcoming her circumstances - and of course it was all because of "me". But this is not a "happy ending" story; this is a "sad reality" story.

"Angela" followed me after I left that school and moved to 1st grade (ok, admittedly she didn't actually really follow me but it sure seemed like it. Her family is just really transient in their living situations). One morning about a month into the school year, there is a knock at the door and the Principal peeks his head in and says he has a new student for me. Lo and behold it is "Angela". Really??? I have to put up with her again?? I'm sure she was feeling the same way truthfully.

She was in and out of the school several times that year always someone landing back in my classroom. Her demeanor didn't change once in the whole time that I knew her. No smiles only attitude CONSTANTLY! Due to her mobility she missed a lot of instruction and had to be retained. Her mom's reaction? "All my other kids been held back. Ain't no big deal."

I was not sorry to not see "Angela" around the school last year. I had enough attitude to deal with with Mr. Stinky Attitude. Frankly, didn't have time for any more attitude.

Fast forward to the beginning of this school year. "Angela" is back and in 2nd grade and frequently comes to find me after school to say hello. There are still no smiles unless I ask. One day I asked her, "Why don't you ever smile? You have a very beautiful smile" "Because I don't like to smile. I don't have nuthin to smile about."

Nothing to smile about??? She's 8, how can she not have something to smile about? Being 8 should be about playing Barbie or Bratz or Littlest Pet Shop and laughing with your friends. What are we doing to our kiddos? Or rather what is her family doing to her?

My Rights

2010-11-02T19:32:00.002-07:00

I will preface this post with the fact that I rarely talk politics because I think everyone has a right to their own opinion and well, politics and the talk of politics rarely brings out the good in people. However, that being said, I felt I needed to share my experience today.

Regardless of your political affiliation, election day is an important part of being a citizen of this country. Unfortunately, too many people take this freedom and choice of elected official for granted and don't think that it is important. Now maybe they have their reasons but in my opinion, people have died for my right to vote and I'm going to exercise it. And besides, if you don't vote, you really don't have a right to complain - you get stuck with what the rest of us responsible people did.

I know this really has nothing to do with 1st grade and you are only kind of correct. Where do you think the next generation of voters is going to come from?? Scarily enough in the next decade, it will be my 1st grade students who are going to be voting.

But really that isn't what I wanted to talk about.

My story today is about a Mexican immigrant who speaks very little English (broken at that)and only recently became a citizen of this country. "Sarah" had a successful career in Mexico but wanted a better life for her children so she and her husband migrated (legally in case you care) to the United States. Since their migration, they have lived in a modest house in a horrible neighborhood (which she says is still better than Mexico) and "Sarah" has undertaken the task of caring for multiple family members.

When I pulled into the parking lot of the polling place I was shocked - it was packed. I mean like really, really packed. I have never seen it like that and the line was just outside the door to get it. "Great", I thought, "I should have come right after school, now I'm going to have to wait around. I mean I have stuff to do for goodness sakes." It was great to see that many people out voting but I just didn't want them to be voting at the same time I was.

Once I naviagated the line and the ID check I saw a familiar smiling face. "Sarah" was one of the pole workers.

"Mrs. Davis!! I have to tell you, today is the first day that I have ever worked in the United States. This is my first job and it's my first day!"

"(Sarah) that is wonderful! Congratulations!"

"Oh thank you Mrs. Davis. I, also, just voted for the first time ever in America."

"That is even more wonderful!"

We didn't much time to talk because she was working and well, I needed to vote and get out of the way since there was a long line. Her excitement got me thinking about something that many of us take for granted.

I voted in my first election the year I turned 18 and I have voted in every one since then. It is not something that I think about or particularly enjoy doing, but it's something that I feel a moral obligation to do. I mean I can't say that I have been excited about voting since that 1st election so many years ago but why haven't I been? I heard and saw "Sarah"'s excitement and realized truly what a valuable gift I have been given by living in a country where I have the right to voice my opinion - even if it doesn't agree with yours.

My List

2010-11-01T21:01:00.003-07:00

So I thought I would be incredibly witty and post a Letterman like top 10 list today but well, I guess I'm just not that witty. So rather than a top ten list, here are some reasons why I'm crazy enough to teach 1st grade and a few triumphs for the day:

* 1st graders always love your shoes.

* 1st graders always notice if you cut or do something different with your hair even if your significant other does not.

* Sometimes you actually see the benefit of your year-long struggle (remember Mr. Stinky Attitude)

* Teaching is often like being a rock star. Kids yell your name constantly all day both in the class and outside. Sometimes I have no clue who they are but ... maybe I'll start dishing out autographs.

* I never have time to actually sit down and eat a full lunch - you would think this would help the number on the scale go down but ....

* I get to listen to Christmas music in October since the kiddos are already practicing for their Winter Program.

* Mr. Needy actually went willingly to a time out today! No fits, just pouting over having to go but hey, he went without me dragging him there.

* Did I mention they always love my shoes??

* 1st graders can make me laugh, cry, and want to scream within minutes of each other.

* I only work 180 days of the year (ya, right like I really only work that many days) - for those of you keeping score, that is less than 50% of the year! (I actually didn't realize that til I typed it! Maybe that should have been my 1st reason)

* I love the look on a little face when they actually get it - I mean, really get it!

* And did I mention, they always love my shoes??

Sometimes it is the little victories that remind me of how much I really do love my job despite the struggles and lack of support I feel quite often. Fact of the matter, my job rocks - well, today anyway.

The sounds of silence

2010-10-28T20:58:00.003-07:00

It's been a nice quiet week in 1st grade. That is not to say the rest of my kiddos are a bunch of angels because they are far, far (really, really far) from it, but in comparison - well ... hmmm... nothing really compares.

Yesterday one of the kiddos said, "Mrs. Davis, do you miss (Mr. Needy)?"

Hmmmmm ... yet another dilemma ...

I couldn't exactly say no so I did what all good teachers do in the same situation - I turned it back around on her ... so there!

"Do you?" I asked.

She thought for a minute and said quite honestly, "No. Not really. It's been really quiet."

And she is absolutely correct. No one has followed me around the classroom incessantly talking and demanding attention that very second or thrown themselves on the floor (I take that back, one kiddo did ... but what do you expect in the classroom of chaos?) and other kiddos actually had a chance to talk during class discussions and get a little of my attention.

Tomorrow it's back to business as usual so I am quite certain it will be anything but quiet.

Teachable Moments

2010-10-25T19:36:00.002-07:00

When I was in "teacher school" (as my students call it), everyone always stressed using those "teachable moments". Teachable moments are those moments that just invariably come up within the day that in reality have nothing to do with what you are supposed to be teaching but the moment is just too perfect that you can't pass it up. While I wasn't teaching on 9/11, it was a huge teachable moment (or more like teachable weeks). The events were just too big to ignore and focus on the actual curriculum but had to be dissected and discussed and put into perspective.

Now thankfully there have been few huge life-changing teachable moments since then (thank God!) but every day there are moments that are just too perfect not to take advantage of. Today was one such day.

My students and I were talking about action verbs and making a poster of all the words that we could think of that were verbs. One student shouted out "crying" so I wrote it down kinda of chuckling under my breath thinking of Mr. Needy when another student said, "Like, (Mr. Needy's name)" and then it was game on.

"Screaming"

"Shouting"

"Kicking"

"Stomping"

"Pouting"

All of them were completely engaged in this activity now and the teacher part of me knew I had to tell them that I didn't want to pick on Mr. Needy (who is at home being "accountable" for three more glorious days) but the other part of me knew all this was true and well, they were all action verbs.

Hmmmm .... it was quite the dilemma.

And when they are bad ...

2010-10-22T21:05:00.004-07:00

They are really, really bad. It's often like waiting for the other shoe to drop. I knew it was going to happen, I was just hopeful that it wouldn't .... but of course, writing about how good Mr. Needy was yesterday was like karma, it appears that it bit me in the hind side.

In case you couldn't tell from the picture, that is indeed Mr. Needy rolling around under his desk. The notebooks and papers and what not all over the floor are the things that he threw there because he didn't want to do his work.

My dear friend, Julie, comforted me while I bent her ear yet again and reminded me of the good and potential that I saw a glimmer of. That glimmer was hard for me to see today while "someone" was rolling on the floor for 2 hours (of course, every incident seems to happen when there is no Principal around to deal with it) but I am trying to see the good in a little boy who is only that - a little boy. Yes, much of the time it is hard to see but I really am trying.

On a up note, my accountability talk with my superior seemed to have worked - Mr. Needy will be "accountable" to only his mother (or rather grandmother since mother can't seem to be bothered to deal with her own child) for 4 days next week. Hmmm .... maybe there is some justice in the world and well I'll refrain from saying anything else about that one for now.

When it's good

2010-10-21T18:59:00.003-07:00

When things are good, they are really, really good and when things are bad, they are really, really bad.

Sometimes it is so easy to get caught up in the bad that it is too hard to see the good in someone (even when the someone is 6 years old). It would be easy for me to give the "party, political correct" line of "I love every child in my class and I see the boundless potential in each and every one of them" but honestly, sometimes I can't see their potential and I have to admit that there are times that I not only don't like them but I border on despising them (I know that's shocking to admit ... I mean did I really just put that out there for the whole wide world to see?? Oh well, no one reads my little blog anyway right?)

From the time that we are itty-bitty we are fed the lie that "you can be anything you want to be. You just have to work hard and do your best". What a big, fat lie that is perpetuated from generation to generation! Let's just be honest, not every child has the potential to be the next Bill Gates, Kobe Bryant, Nelson Mandela or President of the United States; yet we tell them all the lie over and over again.

Sadly, the students that are in my class have the cards stacked against them. Their home situations already put them behind the 8-ball and the legacy that their families have left for them means that for the good majority of them, they will walk down the same destructive and disastrous path as their parents. This is not to say that I don't believe in these kiddos. While I don't necessarily believe the next generation changer is sitting in my classroom (ok, agreed they might be;although not likely), I certainly believe that they have the opportunity to change their own family legacy.

All that to say that today was one of those days where I saw a glimmer of hope and saw the potential in a kiddo that I often can't see (probably because he is usually rolling and screaming on the floor). Mr. Needy has the potential to change what has been an awful family legacy. He is very smart and articulate. He has incredible leadership qualities that despite how his father and uncle used those same qualities, they could be used in a positive light and he could be the one to do it. I truly believe that he is already at a cross-roads that will help determine which direction he is going to go. Is he going to use his powers for good or evil???

Like I said, when it's good, it's really, really good. Here's hoping for a few more of those really, really good days (I've seriously lowered my standards on what is really, really good however). Maybe then I can focus more on his potential and less on the headaches and stress that he causes me and maybe the other kiddos can get some learning done too!

Accountability

2010-10-20T18:56:00.003-07:00

Sometimes accountability is no fun and other times it is, well, let me explain.

The thing with accountability is that we all know that it is what life is all about. You make poor choices and there are consequences; it is a simple fact of every day life. The poor choices that are made daily keep our jails full, police officers employed and cause a lot of people a lot of heartache and grief.

The thing about poor choices is that we have all made them. Maybe not to the extreme of spending time in jail, but we have all made a choice (or more than one choice) that the minute we make it (ok, usually before we make it) we know it is wrong, but we do it anyway and then we have to live with the consequences and ramifications that come along with the choice. We have learned that by making the choice, we have to own up to our action. The thing is that it is a LEARNED behavior. If there were not consequences for poor choices, where would we be?

The problem with accountability is that in today's society, everyone seems to want to blame someone else for their own choice. You held up a bank, well it was the government's fault because of the bad economy and you lost your job. You were speeding in your car and hit some innocent person, well that was the police's fault because we all know it is always the police's fault for something. Your child gets a bad grade, it's the teacher's fault because s/he must not being doing their job. You child doesn't (or can't) seem to behave at school, well, it is either the schools fault or the teachers fault because it certainly couldn't be your fault as the parent. We have created a society that lacks accountability and in doing so what have we done to our future?

I say all that to explain my reasons for teaching some accountability. No, I don't think that I can change the world by demanding accountability from my students but I certainly don't think it is going to hurt them to understand that every action has a reaction, either negative or positive. Maybe if they start learning it at 6 years old, when they are older it will be a lesson that they have seen before and not something that is foreign to them.

Nobody likes when they have to deal with the accountability that comes from your own actions. It doesn't matter if you are 6 years old or 36 years old, consequences are no fun.

But what I will tell you is, that when you are the one getting the reprieve from the one who is serving their time (I mean experiencing the accountability), it makes for one nice, quiet enjoyable day where teaching and learning could actually happen.

Back to Reality

2010-10-19T20:29:00.003-07:00

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder"

A lie, really truly it is a lie. I think it's more "Absence makes the heart realize it doesn't need the crap". Every year I make sure I take nice out of town vacations over both Fall Break and Spring Break. It is more than just getting out of the little dust bowl of a town. It is a time for me to reconnect with the family outside of the confines of our day in and day out routine.

And every year a co-worker of mine asks, "Did you miss the kids and school?"

"NO, NO, NO!!!! Heck NO!"

I did not think about school or the kids for one second while I was gone. I put out thoughts of Mr. Needy and all his neediness and issues and tantrums. But like all good things, it had to come to an end.

As the song goes, "Back to life, back to reality, back to the here and now".

So I am back to my reality and let me tell you my reality is a bunch of crap a lot of the time.

I am bound and determined to make Mr. Needy accountable for his behavior even if it kills me (and it just might since I've had a headache for the past 2 days straight). Being accountable is no fun just ask the screaming, fit throwing 6 year old and his teacher who had to endure the screaming for an hour until he cried himself to sleep.

The Happiest Place on Earth

2010-10-11T06:11:00.000-07:00

I am spending the week enjoying time away from Mr. Needy at the Happiest place on Earth (although there seems to be lots of tears at the Happiest place on Earth??). Hope everyone has a great week! See you on the flip side!

Forbidden Words

2010-10-07T20:57:00.005-07:00

I have a whole other life that existed prior to my teaching life. In that life, I was a police dispatcher (ok, fire too but ... ). Yes, for 13 years, I was the voice of calm saying "9-1-1, what is your emergency?" Too many years of working nights, weekends, and holidays and fitting in sleep whenever I could, made me realize that instead of being part of the reactionary process, I would like to take a shot at being part of the prevention process (plus I wanted to work when the sun was out and sleep in the dark and have a "normal" schedule). And didn't I just live in a Pollyanna world where you wave your magic wand and "fix" all the evils and everyone lived happily ever after all because of my wonderful influence in their lives? (If only that were the case).

But there was a part of that "world" that exists in my current "world". In dispatching there are a couple of words you never, ever say. NEVER, EVER! Never, ever unless you want all hell to break loose. It's like the gods hear those words and then karma comes your way - sometimes in ways you could not even imagine.

What are those words you might ask?

The words are "slow" and "quiet".

Shhhh!!! Don't repeat them - if only for the sake of some poor dispatcher somewhere in the world.

However, the word quiet is not one I think I should be uddering in my current "world". Don't get me wrong, a first grade classroom is never quiet; but simply mentioning the fact that Mr. Needy hadn't had a fit in several days seems to have angered the gods and they are showing their wrath. I knew the karma those words could bring, I just didn't know I still had to abide by those "rules".

So please don't say "slow" or "quiet" for my sake!

McDonald's and Walmart

2010-10-07T15:15:00.003-07:00

Several weeks ago, my Principal sent an email about a McDonald's grant that was available to Kindergarten to 3rd grade teachers. In his typical fashion, he had forgotten to send out the information when he first got it, so it was kind of a last minute deal with the grant due to be postmarked two days after his email.

I had never written a grant before but it was for $1,000 and it seemed like a pretty easy form, so I thought what the heck, what do I have to lose? The Principal offered to read and offer advice of anyone who wanted to submit the grant but really I didn't think I needed his help nor did I think that I would actually get it. It was being offered to only 10 teachers in the entire state, my odds were not too hot. I didn't really tell anyone (including my Principal) any of the details, I mean it wasn't like I was going to get it or anything.

But I was wrong!

About 2 weeks ago, I was sitting in my classroom when I get an email from the office to call Leslie from McDonald's and her phone number. HOLY COW -- REALLY????

Leslie explained to me that they like to do the whole giant check presentation and when could we have an assembly for the school. UMMMM, can I get back to you on that one? I kinda, sorta didn't tell my Principal I even applied for the grant. I mean it wasn't like I was actually going to get it or anything.

My check presentation was Monday. We didn't get to have the whole school assembly (Ronald McDonald was unavailable -- who knew he had a date book?) but they came and presented the check to my class. My class thought they were getting free McDonald's or that we were going to spend the $1,000 at McDonald's (that's a lot of Happy Meals). What I really got was a check for $1,000 to spend on classroom materials and a giant check that is taking up a huge amount of teaching space in my classroom (but I really am not complaining about that one!)

I still haven't really told anyone about it. I'm ok with it staying on the down low. In my former career, if you are in the paper you owe everyone ice cream and so I'd rather just keep this out of the newspaper and I really don't want to hear it from the other teachers who are irritated that I got this.

Can't we just all be happy for each other??

In other news, last week Walmart gave our school 10 $100 gift cards to be raffled between the 23 teachers at my school and I got one of those too! And no, I don't feel bad that I got both the grant and the gift card and you wouldn't either if you were in my shoes!

Triumphs

2010-10-06T18:45:00.003-07:00

In what seems like a year full of only trials, it is often difficult to see even the smallest triumphs but I know that I need to try and find something good, so here we go.

Today's triumphs:

1. Mr. Needy did not shout out all the answers to the math test - now granted I did have to stand next to him the whole time to prevent it but ... well, it's a small victory.

2. My kiddos were not the ones at fault in the fight in the boy's bathroom. Yes, they were involved but they were the "victims" - meanie 4th grader should know better than to pick on 1st graders.

3. A 2nd grader wrote me the cutest little note ever (and he wasn't even my student last year either)

4. Mr. Stinky Attitude gave me a hug.

5. The 4th graders that I scold daily for their behavior in the hall actually straightened up and got quiet when they saw me coming - sometimes that scolding does pay off.

6. Mr. Needy did not have any "outbursts" (3 days in a row now - it must be a record)

7. Mr. Needy got to see how ridiculous another student looked throwing a fit.

8. Nobody threw up.

Trials

1. Another one of my students decided to have a Mr. Needy meltdown (I laughed at him and told him to get with the program. I don't have time to deal with 2 of them doing that garbage)

hmmm...I can't think of any other trials so it must have been a somewhat good day. Yes, Mr. Needy talked constantly even when I was teaching but hey it's progress and I'll take what I can get.

mrs. davis iz the best

2010-10-04T19:06:00.003-07:00

To say the past few weeks have been difficult would be a huge understatement. There have been times where I have wanted (and seriously contemplated) to simply write my resignation and walk away and let it be someone else's problem. Every time somebody says, "who is that kid I heard screaming outside your room?" or "can you please get that under control before we have him next year?" (like I enjoy his antics but thanks 2nd grade teachers for pointing out the obvious) I just want to scream but instead I smile and and say "well, I'm doing what I can which is not much but thanks for your support".

It is on those darkest days that it is hard to remember that sometimes I do make a difference in at least one child's life.

Enter Mr. Stinky Attitude.

Last year, I thought he was hopeless. He was unhappy and manipulative and frankly, I didn't like him all that much. I cringed when he walked into the room and his voice was like nails on the chalkboard to me. I rejoiced the day he moved away (ok, I do admit I was just a teensy bit sad but only for like 2 seconds). This year is a whole different story; gone is the sullen, grumpy boy and he has been replaced with the happy, smiling, and personable young man.

This past Friday, my husband asked if I had Mr. Stinky Attitude's grandma phone number. Um, yeah I only called it just about every day last school year. My hubby said, "I think we need to call her and go pick him up tomorrow." Now usually that would just not seem like much fun after being with kids all week but I needed to see that smile so I called and she agreed that since he had been behaving at school, I could take him on Saturday.

I was kind of at a lose of what to do with him. There weren't really any good movies out that I wanted to see and there isn't much else to do in this small town so we decided to go to lunch at Chili's. Now my family eats at Chili's quite often. When we moved here it was one of the only "real" resturants in town so it kind of became our place to go. Mr. Stinky Attitude, on the other hand, had never been there (WHAT??? Wow, I was just shocked by that). He was so polite and said "please" and "thank you", ordered his pizza and ate every bite (my own kids rarely do that) and while he was coloring his kids menu he wrote "mrs. davis iz the best".

Ok, melt my heart.

Mr. Stinky Attitude was just want I needed to feel like I was accomplishing something and doing some good. I love that boy! And thinking back over the road that he and I traversed that I got us to this point, maybe there is hope for this new challenge in my life. All I know was that for that one moment, I felt like I won.

The Whole Truth and Nothing But ...

2010-09-30T19:07:00.004-07:00

Whatever happened to being honest? I mean, I get that there are few people in our lives that we are truly honestly transparent with but simple honesty is really not that hard, is it?

I mean, isn't the first step to solving a problem actually admitting that you have one in the first place?

I haven't described Mr. Needy that much specifically here but he has been the reason for many of my posts lately. He clearly has problems (and that is a huge understatement). This child is able to throw a fit that includes screaming at the top of his lungs for hours on end, kicking, banging his head, throwing things, etc. There is no specific "trigger" (the psychologists always ask that stupid question) or rhyme or reason. I mean it really is like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. He clearly needs counseling and medication; although not necessarily in that order.

After weeks of fits, there was finally a meeting scheduled today with his mother to "discuss" the behavior and try to come up with some kinds of ideas to help him. I mean, we all get it, he needs help - well, clearly we don't all get it because mom seems to act like she has never seen this behavior before. Really, you are going to try to play the 'he never acts like this at home' card? And, you really think any of us believe you?

Maybe the lack of admission of a problem is the whole problem. Hint mom, if you really want to help your kiddo and not just sit in a meeting like a bump on a log and offer us nothing but lies, tell us the truth!

We know you are lying, you know you are lying and the only person really getting hurt in the whole situation is your child!

Well

2010-09-29T20:32:00.003-07:00

You know how sometimes you ask for someone's opinion of how to handle a situation and when they are talking to you it's like they totally get it and sympathize and want to help? You think, "Wow, how wonderful. This person is going to share their knowledge with me and give me some great ideas. I just know they are."

And then they walk away, still with you thinking you are both on the same page, and an hour later you get an email/phone call/text and it's a completely different story.

Gone is the supportive person who stood in your face sympathizing with you and agreeing with you and promising to help. That person has now been replaced with the "automated answer". You know that answer, "I'd really like to help but ...." or "There's really not much I can do" or "Have you tried this?" or "Can you give him a sticker?" or now this is my personal favorite, "Well.....

I should know by now that this is how the conversation would end up but .. really???? You stood right there to my face and promised your expertise and now I get "Well"???

Well, what? What does that mean?

Well, I don't know how to help you? Well, I don't have the time to help you? Well, I know I said I would help you but it's really not in my job description? Well, I didn't really want to help you but didn't know how to tell you that when you asked?

Well what????

Well is not a sentence. I know I only teach 1st grade but even I know that a sentence needs a noun and a verb so "well" doesn't count! Like I would tell my kiddos, you can do better than that (after all, isn't that why you make the big bucks??)

The Track

2010-09-28T21:42:00.003-07:00

As I drove past the track at the school, I had the strong urge to lace up my sneakers and hop on the track and just run. That is such a foreign thing to the girl who spent most of her basketball playing days finding ways to cheat on the daily running without the coach finding out. I was never a "runner". In fact, I truly thought there was no good reason to run unless someone was chasing you.

About 4 years ago, I was walking on the treadmill and was just kind of grumpy so I decided to run. That short run turned into a decision to run a half-marathon and a new love-hate relationship with running. You see, it wasn't that I loved running but that it became my stress relief. I was obsessed with my run schedule and thought nothing of spending hours doing it if that is what my training schedule said for the day. A good exhausting run after a crazy day helped me put life back into perspective.

I ran to get through the deaths of my grandmother, my cousin's baby and a very dear friend. Running never let me down as so many friends and situations had.

Then it happened.

I hurt my foot and the doctor nixed running. I begged and pleaded with him but he said absolutely not if you don't want to have surgery. He suggested cycling; so I thought what the heck I have to do something but honestly it just isn't the same. I don't spend my day looking forward to my daily cycling like I used to with running. I don't plan events around my cycling; it just doesn't have that pull.

I didn't realize how much I missed it until I saw the track. Maybe I just need to suck up the foot pain and lace up the sneaks and go for it. Maybe it will give me a new perspective or more than like it will...

just hurt my foot.

The Good Kiddo

2010-09-27T21:26:00.002-07:00

So as I was sitting on the couch trying to decompress and just relax and watch Hawaii Five-O (jury is still out on that one but the scenery is pretty and well, the actors aren't bad on the eyes either), on came a commercial that caught my eye (well, more like my ear cuz I was multi-tasking and playing on the computer). It was a commercial that was talking about the child that was struggling in school and the trouble maker child are the only ones getting the teacher's attention in class.

True? Sadly, absolutely.

Fact of the matter, if you are a good student that does your work and just generally does what you are told, I may not talk directly to you all day. How sad is that?

The kids who struggle truly do get all the attention. Score low on a test and well, we will design all kinds of "interventions" for you, misbehave and we will bend over backwards to accommodate you; but do good, well, we will find something for you to do while I work with the kids on those "interventions".

If you are the pain in the rear kiddo, I will spend my entire day talking to you. Now granted it will probably be less than positive conversation like "Please, stop talking", "I said, no more talking", "ALRIGHT I HAVE HAD ENOUGH! STOP TALKING RIGHT NOW!" and my day will consist of basically begging you to do what all the other kids seem to be able to do the 1st time I ask them to (sometimes you have one that makes all the others look like angels).

But if you are that "good" kiddo all bets are off. It's not that I don't want to talk to the those kids but other than a quick hello and I'm happy to see you, I simply can't. Any conversation of length will mean that someone else will fall to pieces and we all know what that means.

So for that I'm sorry but thank you for being good, I don't think I could handle another kiddo to have to redirect all day long.

Walking a Mile in Another's Shoes

2010-09-24T21:13:00.004-07:00

There is an old proverb that says, "To understand a man, you've got to walk a mile in his shoes, whether they fit or not."

You know how you think that you know what someone is dealing with and going through and then all of the sudden you are going through the same thing and you realize that you really didn't have a clue exactly what it was they dealt with on a daily basis?

Last year, one of my good friends had a terror of a student. Literally, a terror, like if you saw this child in public you would shake your head and think (a) someone needs to give him a good spanking (b) I'm sure glad I'm not his parent (c) I'm glad I only have to see this for a few minutes (but why don't his parents spank him) and then I can walk away. Sadly, all the while I told her that I was sorry she had to deal with him and I thought I was being supportive and a good friend, I now realize I really didn't have a clue.

Now I am the one "blessed" with a holy terror and really truly the only people who understand what it's like are the teacher's who have had a child just like this and had to deal with him/her for 7 hours a day (although I do appreciate those few friends who listen to me about this situation and try to help). I can't explain the weariness that I feel every day when I go home and the lack of support that I am receiving from the people in leadership who should be providing the support. Yes, you are right he is "so darn cute" but I have a hard time seeing that when he is laying on the floor screaming for hours on end, but don't worry you aren't "enabling his behavior" that must be my fault too.

It's sad that there are kiddos that are only 5,6,7 who have such emotional issues that the only way that they function is through screaming, crying, anger, and acting out. Where does this kind of stuff come from?

I used to think doctors overmedicated kids, now I think there are times they don't do enough. For my own sanity and for that of my other 18 students, I need the doctor to go above and beyond for this kiddo. Either that or he can come sit with him for 7 hours and see just what an ordeal it is.

The Pendulum Swings

2010-09-16T18:19:00.003-07:00

In education, much like other things in life, there are pendulum swings that cause paradigm shifts in thinking and evaluation of best practices for educating the budding young minds of the youth of today. I can't say how many times I have heard, "you don't like this - well, just wait a couple of years and this will blow over and we will be doing something different". I get that, I really do, but should the pendulum swing back and forth several times in the matter of 28 days of school? The pendulum swings that people are generally talking about take years and are backed by research so why have I had to change how I am teaching reading 4 times in the past 6 weeks? Are we trying to confuse the kiddos - because it is working. They are confused and their teacher is frustrated.

No wonder Mr. Needy crawled under his desk this morning and cried at the top of his lungs for 2 hours about his missing pencil (not just any pencil mind you, it was the one he had sharpened down to the smallest little nub - don't ask I don't get it) until I finally had to call for someone to come get him. Secretly, part of me wanted to join him down there on the floor and just cry it all out.

Maybe someone would come in and give me exactly what I wanted too (cuz that's what he got when they came for him). I'm just saying if it works for him maybe it can work for me too.

So as I go and try to reinvent the wheel yet again in this young school year, I will just try to remember that soon the pendulum will swing yet again in the other direction, probably sooner rather than later.

September 11

2010-09-10T19:58:00.002-07:00

Like most Americans, I can remember where I was the moment I heard of the planes into the Trade Centers. Being that I lived on the West Coast, I was still happily in bed as the planes hit and the terror began. My husband called me somewhere around 6:45 and told me to turn on the TV. I was horrified as I watched the 1st tower fall and then the 2nd. We have all seen those images thousands of times but the feelings of anger, horror and sadness still exist every singe time I view them.

My children were very young at the time (2 years old and 10 months old) so I saved all the newspapers and magazines and knew that when they were older, I would make sure that they too never forgot the sacrifices made that terrible day.

However, as a teacher, I have faced a different dilemma. I swore when I was going to "teacher school" that I would teach 9/11 now matter what; but well, you know what they say about best laid plans. My first year as a teacher, I had a district training that day and didn't want the substitute to have to try and explain the events. Last year, well, I don't really have an excuse, but once again I didn't really teach it. We kind of talked about it but it really isn't the easiest thing to put in terms a 6 year old would understand (lame excuse, I know).

Which leads us to this year.

My students were all born in 2003 and 2004. None of them know what life was like prior to 9/11/01. Shoot, I barely remember what life was like before those days. Being that the actual anniversary falls on a Saturday this year, today would be the day we would have to talk about it.

I asked my fellow teacher's yesterday, if they were going to talk about it today and one of them responded, "Is it in our standards?" Well, no but only because our standards were written in 2000.

My response was, "Does it matter if it is? It is still a very important part of American history and do we really want these kiddos to not know about it?"

"Well, I only have time to teach the actual standards, so no I'm not going to say anything about it. They won't understand anyway."

Isn't our job to get them to understand?

The problem that I encountered when I was figuring out how to discuss this is that there really isn't anything out there for kids my students ages. There are videos from kids in 4th grade on up, but shouldn't we be teaching our kiddos about it from the get go?

I'm just saying.

Laugh like you are six

2010-09-08T20:21:00.002-07:00

If you ever need a really good laugh, just go hang out in a Kindergarten or 1st grade classroom. Once you get over the shock of what really happens at school and how hard teachers really work, you can enjoy a good laugh.

I have to admit that I often don't take the time to actually laugh at their silliness but goodness gracious they are just goofy and sometimes I can't help myself - from the boy who notices my toe nail polish (maybe he is going to be a pedicure dude instead of the gangster that is his destiny), to the kid that, God bless him, I can't understand a word he says, to the missing front teeth (who can't smile at that??!!), to their obsession with Captain Underpants, to just general 6 year old goofiness.

They are silly and funny and it reminds me that all too often us adults get so bogged down with the day to day that we forget to take a minute and actually smile and laugh. So next time you are feeling bad for yourself, take a second, pretend your 6 and laugh like you don't care if anyone sees you laughing. When you are six it really is one of the only times in your life that people aren't laughing at you, they are really laughing with you (and let's just be honest as we get older it's easier to laugh at people instead of with them despite the fact we say stupid things like "I'm laughing with you not at you." Um, ok usually the other person isn't laughing at all).

Weed

2010-09-02T17:21:00.003-07:00

As I was driving in to school I noticed there was a gray haze in the air. Hmmm, something must be on fire, I thought (I know I'm one smart cookie). Then I passed a farm on the way to school and saw that they had a nice large burn pile that was causing a quite stinky bit of smoke. Even my classroom smelt smokey. YUCK!

Fast forward an hour when I picked the kiddos up on the playground:

"Mrs. Davis, it smells like weed out here"

"Weeds? Well, I passed a farm down the road and they are burning their trash"

"No, you know weed. Like well, like weed. The stuff people smoke."

Umm, ok you're six why do you know the name of drugs?? And how do I even respond to that??

"Oh, well now that you mention it, it does kind of smell like that but let's not talk about that and regardless it stinks."

"I think it smells good"

Now really how do you even respond to that one???

"Well, I think it's stinky and we don't need to talk about it anymore."

"Well, I think it smells good" (deep breath)

"Enough already dude. That stuff is bad for you."

"I still think it smells good"

Clearly I am not going to get the last word on this one. And we wonder what is wrong with the world today. A six year old loving the smell of "weed" and knowing what it is, is exactly the problem!

A Good Cry

2010-09-01T21:39:00.002-07:00

Sometimes I truly forget how young they really are.

I guess when you hang out with 20 6 year old's day in and day out they start to seem older and wiser (some of them are way wiser than they should be for 6!) and it's easy to forget that they are just little kids. I tend to treat them more like little adults like I have always treated my own children. There is no baby talk or mushy gushy little kiddo talk in my classroom. That's just not my style. My expectations for them are very high and I run a pretty tight ship (out of necessity really, not because I'm a mean ogre although it probably seems like that to the outsider looking in).

But sometimes I am reminded how little they really are.

It started innocent enough with a library book being taken away because he was talking in the line while in the library. The librarian handed me the book and I told Mr. Needy that he would get it back but right now I had to have it because that's what happens if you can't behave.

Shuffle, shuffle, pout, pout all the way back to the classroom.

He sat down in the chair outside the door even though he wasn't in trouble and I didn't tell him he had to sit there. I said, "ok, well suit yourself. Come in when you want to but we are going to finish our math and then play our math games. If you sit out here, you are going to miss out on the games because you can't play games until you finish the math worksheet"

I propped the door open and promptly went back to teaching the other 18 kiddos and ignored Mr. Needy. He sat out there for 30 mins. with me checking every few minutes if he was ready to come inside and him ignoring me.

Ok, fine. I've played the battle of wills before and trust me dude, you will lose (I was only thinking that part, of course).

He started crying when he saw me get his homework folder to write a note home. Like I was going to let this behavior happen without tattling to his mom. His crying continued for another 15 mins or so getting louder and louder and louder until I couldn't take it anymore and I called the office for reinforcements and the Asst. Principal and Principal got to sit with him refusing to answer them for the next 45 minutes while he cried and ignored them too (that part was actually kind of funny).

Anyway, long story short. Two hours after the ordeal started he finally came back into the classroom and finished his math worksheet (see I always win) and then we talked.

"Mrs. Davis, I just so tired today" (Yeah, hello crying hysterically for 2 hours will do that to you).

"Did you stay up too late last night"

"Ya, I was watching Sponge Bob"

He said he was better but still tired and wandered off.

Sometimes I guess even when your six you just need a good cry.

The Nightmare before 1st Grade

2010-08-30T20:47:00.002-07:00

I started dreaming about them a month before school started. Not just dreams, nightmares; literal nightmares where you wake up in a full sweat nightmares. I had watched them walk down the halls last year and blatantly disobey their teachers, watched the thrown fits, and had one too many people tell me that was a rough group of 1st graders (seems like they say that every year). Oh my, it was going to be the year from hell. I just knew it.

The arrival of the class list did nothing to ease my trepidation. Nor did meet the teacher or the first day of school. I felt like I was constantly waiting for the proverbial other shoe to drop.

But you know what, sometimes not knowing is a better option. This class had been so set up by their prior teachers and even the Principal that it was hard to give them a fair chance. I think sometimes people set up other people for failure. At first, I have to admit, that I thought it was some grand conspiracy against me by my fellow teachers that I would have a stacked class and they would have the nice easy ones (maybe they did plan it that way ...) or maybe I just needed to make my own judgments without any one else's opinion or preconceived notions.

Well, regardless I have found that my judgments were completely wrong and unjustified.

Yes, they are definitely a rag tag bunch on paper. Yes, they are needy and more demanding than any of my prior classes but at the same time I really enjoy them (notice I did not say I enjoy their parents). Yes, we have some issues but I'm still whipping them into shape.

I come home every day literally physically and mentally exhausted but I wouldn't trade that for all the money in the world. Sometimes I have to admit that I really do have the best job in the world.

I Wonder

2010-08-27T22:05:00.002-07:00

At times when I wonder where some of these kiddos get this behavior that they seem to think is okay, it often becomes quickly apparent with a conversation with the parent or guardian or whomever is currently in charge of the particular kiddo.

If you don't think that your children and their behavior is a direct reflection of you then you have another thing coming. You wonder why a kiddo thinks it is okay to talk back to an adult and be disrespectful? Look at how they talk to their parents or more importantly how their parents talk to them. I don't mean to judge but I'll tell you what, if I talked to my parents (or any other grown up for that matter) the way some of these kids talk, I would have been knocked to Kingdom Come.

You wonder why your child won't take responsibility for their actions? Well, let's see, s/he gets in trouble, the teacher calls home and you say that couldn't possibly be the case. My little angel would never do something like that. Ok, yeah right.

You wonder why your 6 year old thinks it's okay to tell someone to stop acting like a "bitch", hmmm well let's see s/he learned that somewhere and I doubt it was while s/he was watching Sponge Bob. You think it could be when you called the teacher and screamed and yelled and called her every curse word in the book and then hung up before she could tell you the real story that your little "angel" couldn't be bothered to share?

No, you can't possibly be held responsible for your role as a parent.

What a Difference a Year Makes

2010-08-26T06:21:00.002-07:00

His smile can lighten a room and make my day instantly better.

Last year, I had a difficult time finding anything positive about him. I even tried to say 5 positive things before I said a negative (for the record, sometimes that is just not possible). We struggled and battled all year. Sometimes he got the best of me and other times I won our little battles. Silly, I know, to battle with a 6 year old but well, we battled day in and day out without fail. I relished the days he was absent and started to almost dread seeing him (who am I kidding, I did dread seeing him towards the end).

But this year, it is a new ballgame. He is excited to see me and will run up and give me a hug with a huge smile telling what a great day he is having and I have to admit that I am equally excited to see him.

Maybe it's because he is no longer my "problem child" or maybe there really has been a positive change in his attitude. Whatever the case, Mr. Stinky Attitude is no longer Mr. Stinky Attitude, with me at least. So today I will go to school and at some point I will see him and he will shout, "MRS. DAVIS!" and we will both look at each other and smile and I'll tell him to be good and that I'm proud of him and he will flash me that million dollar smile and my heart will melt.

What a difference a year makes.

Team Player

2010-08-25T20:44:00.003-07:00

You know, sometimes I think the hardest part about teaching isn't actually the kids but the adults that you have to deal with in the process. And no, I'm not talking about the parents or guardians, I'm talking about the other people involved in the "educational process".

I think of myself as a team player even though it is totally against my selfish only childness (What?? I can admit I don't really like to share or not get my way) I truly want each and every person that I work with to be successful and for ALL of our kiddos to be successful(Sure, secretly I hope my class is the best but really there is a bigger picture than my little world of 20 kids). I share the things I find that I think will be good learning experiences for the kiddos and try to find fun hands-on activities that will make learning more fun. I contribute to the team and likewise I expect everyone else to do the same.

Unfortunately for me, not everyone subscribes to this same theory of team work. Apparently, for some people teamwork means you tell me what you are doing, give me all the great ideas you find, I'll use them but I won't contribute or do my part to be part of the team. I'll argue with you at every opportunity and complain that what we are being made to do is "wrong" and instead of offering a valid solution, I'll just moan and complain about how everything is just so unfair for ME.

Teaching is supposed to be about what is best for the kiddos but unfortunately not everyone realizes that. Some people think that the world revolves around them and they shouldn't have to do something that is inconvenient to them.

There is a saying we have in first grade that "some" people need to remind themselves of - "You get what you get, and you don't throw a fit" and
too bad for "some" people that they aren't the boss and they still have to do what they are told - like it or not. (So there!!!)

Consultants

2010-08-18T18:41:00.003-07:00

So while schools around the country bemoan low budgets and beg for tax payers to approve sales tax increases (1 cent on EVERY purchase for the next 3 years here in Arizona), I find it curious where the funding comes from to hire consulting firms? Could it be from the magical federal grant or does the money fairy just magically drop money to be used for these useless "consultants"?

I am all for examining what needs to be fixed and making changes that are necessary to better education for the kiddos but why does that always seem to require millions of dollars and why do "they" always seem to want to re-invent the wheel? Are these people even in education or have they ever been?

Hmm .... just something that makes me think and wonder how can I get into the million dollar consulting business?? I guess I just gotta make it look good on paper and sell it to the first sucker willing to throw some cash my way.

180 Days

2010-08-16T20:14:00.002-07:00

180 Days.

That is how many school days I went last year without so much as a sniffle or cough (by the way that is the whole entire school year). Maybe it was the H1N1 shot I got or maybe it was the flu shot or maybe the fancy way the man from the health department taught was to wash our hands. Whatever it was it sure beat the past 2 years when I got pneumonia two times each year and spent the vast majority of year hacking and coughing.

5 Days.

That is exactly how many days it took me this year to get sick. School started last Monday and by Friday my throat was on fire and I was shivering despite the 100+ temperatures.

I thought surely one of the kids must have given me this crud, but when I asked them this morning if anyone had a sore throat they all said no.

So I went around and coughed and breathed on every single one of them.

Shame on me

2010-08-03T18:36:00.004-07:00

Holy cow! I can't believe that it has been so long since I posted. Shame, shame on me but really what is a teacher supposed to write about in the summer with no school going on when the blog is all about teaching?

I could bore you with the details of my summer (trust me, it would put you to sleep) or tell you about how Mr. Stinky Attitude actually made a trip to my house for a little one on one time (he was good and we had a good time) or how I started a doctorate program (yawn). So see really I didn't have anything to truly write about.

Most of my summer has been spent putting off planning for the upcoming school year. You see, when school ended I had every intention of reading up and planning up and generally being on the ball way before I needed to be but I didn't do any of that.

Why? You might ask. Well, really because I didn't have to. This is my 3rd year teaching 1st grade. I know what I have to teach and generally how to do what I need to do. I make no claims to be Teacher of the Year because I think it is important to improve one's self all the time but am I good at what I do? I think so.

So rather than meet with my grade level every week for hours on end and meticulously plan things that I knew looked good on paper but would never work in the classroom, I stayed home and read novels that had nothing to do with education, played games with my kids, worked out, swam and spent a good amount of time on the computer reading other people's blogs.

Do I feel less prepared than my counterparts? Nope, not a bit. Rather than stressing all summer over the problem children that I know are coming my way, I've chosen to not listen to those naysayers and make my own judgments about them. Will that turn out to bite me in the rear end? Maybe, but all the planning in the world can't change that outcome sometimes.

Mr. Stinky Attitude - Again

2010-06-24T21:08:00.004-07:00

Just when you thought I was done talking about Mr. Stinky Attitude, I have yet another update. I recently received some information that caused me both happiness and a twinge of sadness. I ran into Mr. Stinky Attitude's grandmother at, of all places, Walmart. She seemed genuinely happy to see me and said that she had been trying to figure out how to get a hold of me. You see, Mr. Stinky Attitude has been removed from his mother's care.

Taking a child from a parent is sometimes the best thing that can ever happen to a child. Without getting into too many details of this poor kiddo's life, he is much better away from his mother. Some people just do not deserve to have influence over the life of a child and maybe now he will have a chance at a better life.

But this news also caused me some sadness. I can't imagine how sad he must be having to be away from his mom. No matter her attitude towards or against him that is still his mother and he loves her very much. I worry about how he is handling this situation and if all the progress that we had made will be lost. I asked his grandma how he was doing and she said that it has been very rough but that he is very good at putting up walls and not letting on like anything is bothering him.

For all the grief he caused me this year, the fact still remains that he is only 7 and he's already had a pretty rough life. I found myself telling his grandma that I would give her a call in the next week or so and make some time to come by and see him. Hopefully, this will be the start of something great for him.

Terrifying

2010-06-24T20:59:00.002-07:00

So today I took a huge leap of faith. After contemplating pros, cons, finances and what not for the past several weeks, I made the decision to continue with my education and pursue a doctorate degree in educational leadership.

Why you may ask? (it's ok you can ask, my mom did too)

Simply put, because I can.

It's not like I spent my whole life dreaming of a DR. in front of my name or even thought I aspired to this but well why not?

What I have found over the past couple of years is that an effective leader really makes all the difference in the success of a school and/or organization. Ineffective leadership causes low morale and a lack of support from your "troops". Effective leaders just make life more enjoyable.

What do I intend to do with this degree?

I'm not sure exactly yet but I'm hoping that it will help me to develop into an effective leader.

It's kind of a terrifying prospect but what the heck ......

You are so lucky

2010-06-10T13:40:00.002-07:00

"You are so lucky. You have all summer off."

It's true I do get all summer "off" but I am not one of those people who leaves school on the last day and doesn't even think about school until the day that I am required to return. I am constantly reading books about education, behavior, and other boring stuff like that trying to make myself a better teacher. I spend hours a day looking at websites for ideas to use in the classroom. So yes, technically I'm not at work but the time I spend over the summer planning for the coming school year is work and it is work and time that I am not getting paid for.

To be honest, my husband gets bitter in the summer every day he has to go to work. He makes snide comments and pouts about how it must be nice to sit home all day and not have to do "anything". (Apparently the house cleans itself and did you know we have a chef that comes in every day and does the cooking? I didn't know that either!)

I actually did try to find a job this summer but well that didn't work out so I will just sit here and do "nothing" and consider myself "lucky".

Perception

2010-06-01T20:20:00.002-07:00

"Mrs. Davis, are you rich?"

The question took me a little off guard. I am by no means "rich". I have a newer car that I love but pay much too much for every month, live in a fairly nice neighborhood in a rather modest house with a swimming pool, and decent clothes to wear but rich no.

My husband and I have worked hard for everything that we have obtained in our 15 years together. I laugh now when I look back and remember that when we bought our first house just 8 months after we got married that I made $7.65 an hour and hubby made $7.88 an hour. How in the world did we afford to buy a house? And what bank in their right mind gave us a loan? But I digress. We have struggled financially at times as most families do but we have always provided for our family and tried to give our kids the best of everything.

But back to the question that threw me for a loop just a bit.

Today, a couple of students who have helped me over the course of the school year came over to swim. I have mentioned that I teach in a low income school and these kiddos are no exception. They live less than a block from the school. When I was at their home last week, I am quite certain there was some criminal activity going on at the house next door and the "gentlemen" out front were dressed head to toe in their gang attire. Frankly, I was a little concerned for my safety.

I don't point out their living situation to say that mine is superior but it gave me a little perspective. In my own eyes, I am not rich but in theirs I realized that it appears that I am.

Sometimes life is just a matter of perception.

Thou Shall not Sing

2010-05-29T13:31:00.002-07:00

So before you think I'm an evil awful person, let me explain.

Every morning for the past 180 school days, I have played the same 5 songs. They are intentionally not kids songs and in fact prior to starting in my classroom I am doubtful if any of the kiddos had heard these particular songs. I picked songs that were "oldies" - Sittin' on the dock of the bay, Ain't no Mountain High Enough, In the Still of the Night, Ain't no Sunshine, and finally What a Wonderful World. In the beginning, they would beg me to put on Hannah Montana or Alvin and the Chipmunks, but after a month or so I would hear them humming along and every now and then someone would try singing along.

So why such a big deal about singing? Well, let's see there are 21 of them and well if everyone was singing along it would be way too loud so thus the rule no singing, ever.

However, on the last day of school I told them if they agreed to sing quietly (yeah right) they could sing along. YES, YES we promise was the reply I, of course, received so the singing began. Did they keep their promise? Of course not but it was the last day of school so I cut them some slack.

I have to admit that it was pretty darn cute to hear each and every one of them (even my special ed. kiddo who rarely talks) singing along to these oldies. A few of them have told me that they have heard their parents playing these songs and I hope that maybe I have exposed them to something worthwhile other than Ms. Hannah Montana or other similar Disney goddess'.

Have I rethought my no singing policy? Absolutely NOT!

Lines and Bubbles

2010-05-13T20:34:00.002-07:00

According to Piaget (if you haven't a clue who I'm talking about count yourself lucky), 1st grade aged children cannot understand sarcasm. That is not to say that is true for all of them but for the most part they are very, very literal. They will look at me if I'm crazy if by accident (or sometimes on purpose) I add a little sarcasm to my conversations with them.

Every morning we have to complete a very rigid set of reading charts. I admit they are boring no matter how many different ways that I've tried to spice them up. The kiddos are pretty good about jumping through this hoop to get to the stories that they want to hear and read but every now and then they are more than a little resistance. It drives me nuts that rather than looking at the charts where the words are, they will look at me as if I have the words written on my forehead. Several times this year I have reminded them that I do not wake up early in the morning and write the words on my forehead nor does Mr. Davis. They laugh and we move on. Well, on this particular morning I asked a student to look at my forehead to just make sure that somehow the words weren't written there without me knowing. Well, he looked and said, "No, I don't see any words but there are a bunch of lines and well, they kind of look like a T."

Note to self, really don't ask any of them to look at my forehead again.

Have you ever really watched kids play with bubbles? See, I'm not a huge fan of bubbles (yes, I know I'm no fun - I hate paint, playdough and bubbles) because really all they do is make a huge mess and then there are a bunch of sticky hands. Ugh, I hate sticky, dirty hands!

Somehow I must have forgotten my dislike and I decided that my monthly incentive for the class would be a bubble party. We talked about it all month - reminding them what was required of them to attend this party, threatening to take it away, etc - they were so excited. Me - not so much. Did I mention, I'm not a huge fan of bubbles???

That's beside the point, my class earned their party and for their hard work, they were each given a bottle of bubbles and outside we went. It was a pretty windy day (I'm, also, not a huge fan of windy days - I'm really not a stick in the mud I swear) but the kids had the best time. They ran and laughed and acted, well, they acted like 7 year olds.

It is days like that remind me how much I really love 1st graders - even if they do tell me how old I am and point out my wrinkles.

Shouldn't I be Celebrating?

2010-05-04T20:53:00.002-07:00

So today it was official - Mr. Stinky Attitude was withdrawn from my class and enrolled in another school in town.

My first thought ----- WHEW!!!! As I was doing his withdrawal paperwork I saw that out of 163 days he has been absent for 23.5 days and tardy another 27. No way!!! How come it felt like he was there 200 days??? Then I remember that most of those absences and tardies came in the month of April when we had 21 days of school up until then he was at school every day without fail (well, except for the 10 or so days he was suspended).

My next thought was that somehow I failed him. Maybe I should have listened more or cut him a little more slack or actually been happy to see him instead of just pretending that I was or maybe, oh I don't know. I do know that I did everything I could to help him but I know that now he is just going to fall through the cracks because he is such a pain in the hind end.

So while I admit that my classroom is a much happier place and I am a much more patient teacher with him gone because I haven't used up all my patience on him, I have to say that part of me was sad when I got the call this morning that he wouldn't be back. See I was supposed to "save" him and well that doesn't seem very likely at this point.

Am I celebrating? Not like I thought I would be. Am I sorry that he is gone? Yes and no. Do I wish his new teacher all the luck in the world? YES, she is going to need it!!!

Karma

2010-04-26T21:05:00.004-07:00

So last week I was pretty certain that Mr. Stinky Attitude was no longer my problem. His attendance has been pretty sporadic this month with him only coming to school on time 2 days out of the whole month. He missed a couple days in a row only to show up again just in time to not be dropped for nonattendance which occurs after the 10th consecutive day of absence. But last week I was pretty certain he was gone. He had missed 7 straight days. Clearly he must be gone. Surely. Please. Pretty please.

So I made a decision - I moved his desk away from the other kids and put it away. Another teacher told me I was crazy to do, that was like the kiss of death or like saying the "q" word in my former line of work. It will always blow up in your face. No, no I assured her.

You guessed it, I was wrong. In fact, the very next day in he sauntered an hour late no less. I guess that was my karma for my wishful, hopeful thinking.

On an up note, I got a really cool piece of technology to use in the classroom today. At a time when 18 teachers were given pink slips and another 30 or more might get the same thing, somehow there was money to buy some 20 classrooms at my school brand new document readers. They are really cool and don't get me wrong, I'm totally not complaining about getting one, but I just don't understand the math sometimes. It's the same math that funds paid professional development for teachers over the summer, afterschool programs, and new classroom computers. The powers that be use the buzz word "grant" money but whatever you call it, I can't imagine that those 2 teachers at my school that got that pink slip care where the money comes from. It's a tough sell when you are cutting jobs and pay yet spending crazy amounts of money on technology.

Hmmmm ....

2010-04-19T21:15:00.002-07:00

Hmmm.... what to say? I'm feeling a little at a loss for what to say and if you know me at all, you know this is such a rarity - I always have something to say about just about anything.

Maybe I'm in a funk. It is the end of the year. I am feeling uninspired and counting the days until summer vacation. Maybe I'm overwhelmed. I am helping coach (although I do much less than my wonderful family) my daughter's softball team and that consumes 4 nights a week, my last Master's class requires one night a week and an 8 page paper every week, and I teach after school 2 days a week. I graduate with my Master's in a little more than 3 weeks. So maybe I'm just busy.

Whatever the issue, I can't seem to get inspired to blog about much of anything.

Mr. Stinky Attitude has been MIA for the past week or so, so my bet is that he is gone. I have mixed feelings about this development. I know that he needs somebody who cares but my classroom runs so much smoothly without him. Part of me feels like a failure that I couldn't do more, that I couldn't "save" him and part of me secretly wishes I don't see him sitting in my classroom again. Perhaps that is why I am unable to blog - he provided me with so much I needed to write about.

Whatever the case, there are 28 days of school left, 3 weeks of Master's classes, and about 8 more weeks of softball, and I for one am ready for a break.

The Birthday Queen

2010-04-10T16:06:00.004-07:00

So yesterday was my birthday and I made the mistake months ago of telling the kiddos when my birthday was and how old I really was. Last year my class believed me when I said I was 19, this year's class knew better and had been reminding me all week that I was old. Of course when you are 7, anyone who is older than 10 is OLD but I digress.

One of the kiddos brought me an adorable vase with some flowers and a card and they all sang happy birthday to me about a dozen times before 10:00 am. I played along and smiled and wore the silly birthday queen crown that my teacher friend made me.

But my best gift was a gift that didn't cost a dime.

Last year I had a student who although he was extremely difficult was by far my favorite student. He came from a rough neighborhood and had a difficult family situation (don't they all???) and on top of it all was a special ed. student. But somehow this kiddo had my heart. He spent a couple weekends at my house swimming and playing with my kids and I would have loved to just adopt him and make him my own. A week into the school year this year, his mother withdrew him from school and moved him and his sisters to Oklahoma with her new husband. I was heartbroken. Gone were my days of kisses blown down the hall and hugs. He was just gone with not so much as a good-bye.

Several months ago, I heard that he had moved back to town and was attending another school in the district. I kept meaning to call over to the school and talk to his new teacher and maybe get a new phone number for mom but I never seemed to have the time or make the time. Part of me didn't have the heart to start up a relationship again only to have him disappear yet again.

Yesterday, the school secretary came over the speaker in my classroom and said that she had a very important call that she needed to transfer to my classroom. Umm ok I'm thinking. But I tell her to go ahead and transfer the call.

"Happy Birfday Mz Davis. I miss you."

I almost started to crying right there in front of the other kiddos. It was my dear sweet boy from last year. My teacher friend was in cahoots with the school secretary and they had tracked down my boy. The principal of the other school got him out of class and helped him call. There was no better present in the whole world and I really did feel like the birthday queen just like my crown had said.

Yes, I love the heart rate monitor my hubby got me and beautiful flowers and cookie (sorry I didn't particularly enjoy the Polident) my friend Casey got me but nothing could compare with hearing that little voice.

So thank you to everyone who helped make that happen. It is truly something that I will be forever grateful for.

PS - I'll even forgive how you arranged to have the whole school sing happy birthday in the assembly .... but remember what they say about pay back!

All Good Things Must Come to an End

2010-04-06T16:26:00.003-07:00

All good things come to an end and today that good thing happened to me. After sporadic attendance the past 2 weeks Mr. Stinky Attitude was back today with a vengeance.

The day started promising enough. Happy kids, no attitudes enjoying breakfast in the classroom (don't even ask, that's a whole other issue). Reading came and went and then BAM halfway through the morning in he walked.

My heart dropped and I prayed my face didn't show my disappointment.

So like all other good things in life, my reprieve has ended. Wish me luck! (36 days to go ---- but who's counting???)

Am I Wrong?

2010-04-04T15:19:00.004-07:00

What a wonderful week it has been in my classroom with the absence of Mr. Stinky Attitude!

Is that wrong of me to say? If you are offended I apologize, but I haven't been feeling great and I simply could not deal with him and well, his attitudeness (ok, I did just make up that word but you get the point.) He was absent 3 out of the 4 school days last week and my classroom was blissfully quiet and happy.

I must admit that by his absence on Thursday, I was a little bit concerned for his safety. I made a few phone calls to see if I could find out where he has been and if he is ok. First, I called mom. No great surprise but her cell phone was disconnected. Next, I called grandma who was only able to tell me that she had no idea where he was but that she had talked to CPS that morning and they had tried to visit him that morning. The worker saw him peek out the window but no one would answer the door (I know I was shocked too) but at least they knew he was safe and alive and CPS' issue isn't truancy so they didn't care if he was at school or not but only that he was safe (Don't even get me started about CPS and what they do and don't care about -- GRRRR).

After my conversation with grandma I knew exactly why he wasn't in school - mom is avoiding CPS. If he comes to school, CPS can talk to him and if mom just keeps him out of school, she can avoid whatever they are trying to talk to him about.

Well needless to say, we shall see what happens tomorrow. Is it wrong if I hope for just a few more days of peace?

Egg Dying

2010-03-31T20:40:00.003-07:00

What was I thinking agreeing to color eggs with 40 first graders???

First of all, if you have read my blog in the past you know how I feel about 1st graders and painting (not exactly my favorite activity in the world). I'm not a huge fan of messy hands and well, mess in general. Dying Easter eggs is a million times more trouble.

I don't even color eggs with my own children anymore. I have skated out on that activity for the past several years by making that an activity that could be done at Grandma's house. So why in the world would I think this was a good idea?

After hard boiling 7 dozen eggs (for the record that's 84 yes 84 eggs)I was liking the idea even less.

But 84 eggs, 20 cups of dye, 1 WONDERFUL AUNT who is always willing to help later, there were 40 very happy smiling 1st graders and it was mostly worth the mess and time it took.

Spring Break

2010-03-23T20:45:00.004-07:00

No, I have not fallen off the planet as it might seem.

Last week was Spring Break and I spent a glorious week with my family back in Northern California. It was a wonderful time seeing friends and family and enjoying the sights and sounds that we all too often took for granted while we lived there.

While I was gone a colleague called me and asked if I missed the kids. My first thought was how can I miss them, they are driving me crazy in the backseat? But then she clarified, No, not your own kids but your "kids".

Is it wrong if I say no? Am I crazy if I say yes?

Well, maybe I better not say either way but I will say that the time away recharged me so I am more prepared to deal with the next 45 days of school.

Did the time away have the same effect of my "kids"? It's hard to say.

Kids need stability in their lives. School provides that stability for a vast majority of my students. For many of them, it is the only consistent thing in their lives. They know the routine, the rules, the expectations that I have for them and what to expect from me. Those things stay the same day in and day out. School is safe and predictable. It is the constant.

Sadly, home is not.

So did the kiddos benefit from the time off? Some of them maybe, others it's likely they would have been better off without the existence of Spring Break.

Everybody deserves a birthday

2010-03-11T21:20:00.003-07:00

"Mrs. Davis, what is Mr. Stinky Attitude's dad's name?"

"The same as his. Mr. Stinky Attitude is a junior."

"Oh, well I saw in the paper this morning that his dad was sentenced yesterday to 5 years in prison."

Oh man, my heart drops. This poor kid - can his world go down hill any more?

Fast forward about an hour and in walks Mr. Stinky Attitude with a smile on his face. You see, today is his birthday. It is all I have heard about for the past two weeks as he has counted about twenty zillion different ways just how much longer he had to be 6 (ok, I might be exaggerating just a little).

"Mrs. Davis, my mom says that she is going to be cupcakes and drinks today" (Yeah, sure I'm thinking).

"Okie doke kiddo that sounds great"

Lunchtime comes and nothing from mom. I check with the office - nope nothing there either. I decide that I'm going to go get him something - cookies, cupcakes, anything. I just can't stand to see the disappointment on his face when he realizes that another adult in his life let him down.

1 quick trip to the store and 24 mini cupcakes later, I returned to the school and set out to make sure that he got some semblance of a birthday. I didn't tell him who the cupcakes were from because that didn't matter. He assumed that grandma had dropped them off and I let him believe that only saying that whoever did it must love him very much. He spent the rest of the day with a huge smile on his face and the principal even commented how happy he seemed today.

For all of my issues with this kiddo, his situation breaks my heart. He is still only a 7 year old and everybody deserves a birthday.

The Best Job in the World

2010-03-09T20:32:00.004-07:00

Sometimes I walk down the halls of the school before the kids are there and it strikes me once again how lucky I am.

I have the best job in the world. Really I do. I have met so many people who say there is no way that they could do what I do on a daily basis but I can't see myself feeling satisfied doing anything else.

I get to hang with some of the brightest young minds who despite their circumstances come to school every day with a smile on their face and an eagerness to learn (well, minus Mr. Stinky Attitude - he's incredibly bright but ...). They tell me I'm beautiful and that my clothes are cool. They love my hair and actually notice when I get my hair cut or colored (unlike the reaction or lack thereof at home). They can tell when I'm grumpy and try and make me laugh. They don't care if my make-up is perfect or if I iron my pants. They want to tell me EVERYTHING. They tell me I'm funny and cool and laugh at me sometimes and with me other times. I get to dance and act silly and be a big goober all in the name of education.

I know that I seem to gripe and vent a lot here but that is kind of what got me started writing this blog in the first place. I needed a place to get my thoughts onto paper (or computer) to process some of the experiences that I have but truth be told I wouldn't trade any of my experiences for the world. I wish I could take some of these kiddos and make their home life better but the best that I can offer them is a warm, safe, and loving environment while they are in my care.

Doing my duty

2010-03-01T19:46:00.003-07:00

My dear sweet grandma had a saying that rings especially true for me on days when I can actually apply it in a real life situation. She used it all the time from the littlest situation to very serious ones.

Her saying, you ask?

"Doing your duty 'most always means doing something that you would rather not do."

I have said it myself a million times without much thought. It just became something that I said but then I have moments where I do really need to remind myself of its meaning.

In teaching, there are laws that I am bound by like them or not. Does it make it easier knowing that I am "required" to do something? No. Does it make it easier even if it's the right thing to do? No.

But I do them none the less - not because I want to but because I have to. Let the chips fall where they may. I did what I had to do and now I have to live with any of the possible consequences.

Heartbroken

2010-02-28T14:35:00.005-07:00

Sometimes something happens that just breaks your heart, and that something happened this past week.

Mr. Stinky Attitude had been particularly growling and grumpy making me increasingly impatient and grumpy. I didn't want to listen to anything he had to say and had to resist the urge to ask if I could help the family pack when he told me that mom was packing up the house because they were moving to a nearby city. I was thinking, really could I get so lucky?? Maybe if I cross all my fingers and my toes and my heart and all those other superstitious things we do.

Then Friday afternoon happened. I say it happened because I really am still at a lose for any other way to describe it.

Mr. Stinky Attitude had been suspended the day before and the teacher that he stole from asked if she could talk to him at some point in the day. Not because she wanted to berate him or anything else but because he had written her a letter that pulled at her heart strings. Yeah, so what I thought. So typical of when he gets in trouble, he is just trying to win everyone over again.

The school secretary calls me during lunch to tell me that Mr. Stinky Attitude's grandmother just called to let the school know that she had kicked Stinky Attitude's mom and the kids out of the house the night before because mom is back on meth and she just can't have that in her house. She is just calling the school to let us know of the current family situation.

I decide I'm going to talk to the kiddo when he gets back from lunch - not only because I am nosy but I want to hear from him what he thinks has happened.

I won't get into all the details of the story here but he just broke my heart. He tells me that mom and grandma got into a big fight the night before while he was in the shower. They were arguing over him getting in trouble at school and grandma spanked him and mom didn't like that. There is a lot of screaming and yelling and then hitting and kicking. Somehow mom got cut when grandma slapped her in the face and blood is dripping down her face. Mom grabs a knife and Mr. Stinky Attitude decides it's time to call 911. He calls 911 and does the best that a 6 year old can do in telling the dispatcher what is going on in the house. Mom is now mad at him for calling the police and tells him to hang up while grandma is yelling for the police. He is scared and doesn't know what do to. He thinks about running down the street but it's dark and he doesn't know where he would go. The police show up and mom and grandma fight with the police so more police come. Grandma gets thrown on the ground and handcuffed. Mom keeps yelling at everyone. The police are really nice to him and tell mom it get her things and take the kids away for the rest of the evening.

This was just the gist of the story and there was much conversation between the 2 of us as he was telling me the story. In the end, I think he and I talked for about an hour while the rest of the class was working on something that they could do independently.

The whole thing just made me sad. For goodness sakes, he is 6 years old. He shouldn't have to worry what mom was going to do with the knife that she had during the fight and he shouldn't think this was all his fault. All I could do was try to not cry in front of him and tell him that I loved him. I have a new appreciation of what this poor child has to deal with on a daily basis.

Pandora's Box

2010-02-25T20:03:00.003-07:00

Sometimes when you open Pandora's box it's a little harder to shut than it should be. This is especially true for 6 year old's who like to blab about everything.

It started out innocent enough with a simple question about the calendar and what day of the week it was. I was mulling around behind my desk as my "calendar leader" asked the question about what today was, but I distinctly heard,

"It's Wednesday."

"NO, it's Tuesday.""

"NO IT'S NOT, IT'S WEDNESDAY and I know that because my dad gets outta jail today."

At this point my ears perk up. "Excuse me, Mr. (insert name). Do you think that is something that we should share with the whole class?"

"Yes, I do. I'm excited he's getting out and it's Wednesday and I'm gonna get to see him. Wanna know why he is in jail?"

"No, I do not and this is not something we should be talking about now."

He continued, clearly ignoring me, and with a huge smile on his face said, "He beat up my mom."

"Mr. (name) that is not something that is funny or to smile about and we need to stop talking about it."

But by now Pandora's box was open and there was no going back however hard I tried.

"My mom's in prison for shoplifting. She went into a store and stole a bunch of stuff and then my aunt and her got into a fight. And when I was a baby, my uncle got drunk and shot my dad"

"My dad's supposed to go to jail because he sells that green stinky stuff but he just stays away from the police." (For the record this kiddo doesn't live with or even see dad so I don't have to make a dreaded call to CPS)

"Daddy kicked mommy in the head. Mommy called 911. Police came and daddy go away" (this from my barely verbal special ed child)

The most sad part of the whole conversation was that this was just a commonplace conversation to these kiddos. There was no shock or emotion that their parents/relatives were in jail or that such violence was involved, it just was what it was. They have such sad little lives but they don't even seem to realize it.

What did I learn from all this? Hmm, now that's a tough one as really this conversation turned into a very teachable moment about all the bad choices these people made and how the kiddos didn't have to make those same choices but I guess it made me realize how truly blessed I really am.

Generational Gap

2010-02-17T19:40:00.004-07:00

My day started with a unexpected visit from one of the district office guru's on education. It wasn't me that he was intending to visit but it was early and the teacher he was there to see wasn't there yet so he came into my room and stayed and chatted for a while. I know that sounds like it should be one of those "oh, great lucky me" kind of moments but it was actually an interesting conversation that I thought I would share parts of it here.

Mr. Guru was sharing with me some research that he had done on education and generations. Well, mostly it was the differences in generations and how they look at education and motivation. Keep in mind these are his thoughts and not mine but they seemed to make sense and I would love to see what other people think about this.

Currently, in education there are typically 4 different generations at work. There are the Baby Boomers who tend to be in upper level education jobs such as superintendents, curriculum designers, and other mucky mucks. There are the Gen-X'ers who are us middle aged teachers and some Principals. There are the Millenniums, Y2kers, or Me generation babies(I think that's what he called them) or the younger teachers in their early to middle 20s and then there are our students (I don't know if there is an official name for this current generation).

One of the issues comes to work ethic and perception. Once again, his research and opinion not mine but here goes:

Baby boomers tend to be loyal to the company or organization. They have worked their way up in their current organization and have risen through the ranks. They often only work for one company their entire careers. They believe that hard work equals long hours and that there is no way someone can be productive unless they are self-sacrificing and working way longer hours than they are required to.

The Gen-x'ers are loyal to people rather than the organization. They believe in working hard but not at the expense of personal relationships. Personal loyalty comes before the organization. If a person that they are loyal to leaves the organization they are often not far behind.

The Me generationers are all about effort. All that matters is that you tried your best. If you don't succeed well, it's ok it's all about the fact that you tried. The Me generationers leave at the end of their contract hours (3:30 in our case) because well, they have worked hard all day and given their best effort. It is all about working smarter not harder. There is no sense of personal or organizational loyalty. (Maybe that explains the Me generation title??)

What about the current nameless generation? Not enough research on them yet; sorry can't psychoanalyze them just quite yet.

He continued that the problems arise in education because Baby Boomers run the education system and well that doesn't exactly work with the newer generations.

It was interesting stuff that got me thinking. So I thought I'd ask Mr. Guru about Mr. Stinky Attitude and his thoughts on the whole sticker chart thing. He said, "Sticker charts only work for the kids who don't really need them".

And you know what? He is absolutely right. This generation could care less about stickers and the like, they are all about what are you going to do for me? It's kind of scary to think what is going to come with this sense of entitlement.

As for Mr. Stinky Attitude, he gotten so much worse in the past week. Maybe it's the darn sticker chart that is the problem or at least part of it.

Thank you Mr. President

2010-02-14T21:02:00.004-07:00

Where would we be without Presidents? Not something that you've ever really thought about? Or maybe you have? Would we still be under the rule of the British monarchy or would we have dictators? Hmmm ....

I don't want to make this blog into a political debate and I certainly won't share my feelings here on the current President or any of our past Presidents other than to say I think that America has been blessed with some really great leaders at very important times in our nation's history and other times we have had to muddle through with a mediocre leader but no matter what we have survived.

Back when I was in school we celebrated Washington's birthday on the 2nd Monday in February and Lincoln's birthday on the 3rd Monday in February. Or maybe it was the other way around - regardless I know that we got 2 Monday's off in a row.

Oh the "good ol' days" - I miss you so! Now we celebrate "President's Day". It is a day that honors President's both past and present - good and well, not so good.

So back to my original question - where would we be without President's?

Well, tomorrow I would be at school rather than enjoying the glorious Arizona weather. So thank you to each and every President, because of you I will stay in bed longer, cherish my cup of coffee, read the newspaper and renew my will to get through the next 63 school days!

Oh and ps - Happy birthday George and Abraham! I, for one, think we need to celebrate both of your birthdays instead of lumping you with all the others!

The Dreamer

2010-02-09T19:42:00.006-07:00

Sometimes I feel like no one is really listening when I am teaching. Sure they are sitting there in front of me but some of them are playing with their shoes or have ants in their pants. The worst is when I ask a question and I get nothing ... I mean come on guys I just spent the last 4 days talking to you about this, doesn't anybody have an answer.

I feel like Ferris Bueller's teacher, "anyone, anyone, anyone?"

But just when I think that no one is listening, the most unlikely student surprises me.

Mr. Stinky Attitude was having a Mr. Stinky Attitude moment and had spent a few moments with the Principal. When he came back he had 2 letters in his hand - one was addressed to me and the other was addressed to his reading teacher, who he had been awful to. This is what mine said including his own 1st grade words,punctuation, spellings, and his drawing that accompanied it:

On the outside - to Davis
look in The side

Inside -
Win I Grow up

I,m going to be a hero
like Marten Lothr Kin JR. I',m a good
Dreamr about things like That.

from
Mr. Stinky Attitude (he of course really wrote his name)

So maybe there is hope after all and maybe even if he is rolling around on the floor, he really is learning.

PS - Yes, he did write this all alone without any direction from the Principal

My Portrait

2010-02-08T18:01:00.005-07:00

You know how you are just having that day where you are cranky and irritated for no apparent reason and nothing can seem to get you out of the abyss that you are wallowing in? Well, on those kinds of days I'm glad that I teach first grade because how can a hapless 6 year old not just make you smile sometimes.

I have a student who I refer to as Junie B. Jones. If you don't have young children you may have never heard of this character but she is a storybook character who says whatever she thinks and gets herself in more trouble than she knows what to do with. The kids love her because she says things that they would only dare think and never say --- well most of them anyway. My little imp is just like Junie B. Jones - she doesn't think first, she just talks and talks and talks some more. She makes me nuts but at the same time it's hard to just not smile and sometimes chuckle at her. Anyway, little Miss Junie B. Jones decided to draw these pictures of me and Mr. Davis. I, of course, am the beautiful one with huge blue eyes and red hair and Mr. Davis apparently has no body and his legs come right out of his neck.

How can that just not make you smile???

Have I turned a corner?

2010-02-03T17:24:00.003-07:00

"I'm not going to have an attitude because I know what I did was wrong."

Wow, I thought, have I actually turned a corner with Mr. Stinky Attitude?? Could it really be possible? Really?

This was part of the conversation between Mr. Stinky Attitude and I when he came back from reading and told me that he hadn't been paying attention to his reading teacher and so he had to come in at lunch and read the story that he failed to read during the actual reading time. I was so impressed that he actually acknowledged that his own actions caused him the problem and that he actually acknowledged it to me rather than going and putting his jacket over his head and climbing under his desk. I briefly talked to him about how that was very responsible of him and that I was very proud of him for taking responsibilities for his own actions.

It would be great if that was the end of the story; unfortunately, things went downhill from there. He lost it with me as the day progressed and after feeling like I was jumping through hoops to keep him happy only to have him throw it in my face, I lost it with him. I finally got to the point where I told him that I didn't want to hear his voice anymore today. I didn't care what the reason was - if he couldn't be nice and respectful to me (instead of putting his fingers in his ears to make sure I knew he wasn't listening) then there was nothing that I wanted to hear from him. I'm not quite sure I said it that nicely; in fact, I know that I didn't because the rest of the class was silent for about 10 minutes after I said what I needed to say to him. I think that is when reality set in for him that I was really upset. He tried so hard to have some kind of conversation with me several more times but I told him that I simply couldn't talk to him that I was very upset and was tired of talking to him at the moment.

Harsh?? Maybe, but as a dear friend pointed out, I am one of the few constants in this child's life and he needs to know the limits and he is smart enough to know how to manipulate those around him.

So have a turned a corner??? Maybe a little one.

The Transformation

2010-01-31T20:07:00.003-07:00

Something happens that transforms 1st graders over Christmas break. Before the break they are very needy and whiny and often not much fun to be around. I hesitate to say that I didn't really like them very much and I was considering switching grade levels to get away from the neediness. Then we all had a two week break from each other and when they came back they were like different kids. Did they really mature that much in a two week period? Or had I just failed to see it before because we all just needed a break from one another? I had forgotten this phenomenon but I do have to say that I am grateful that there are only about 75 days left of this school year.

I actually for the most part (save Mr. Stinky Attitude) quite enjoy my class. They make me laugh every day and even though I often vent on here we do have a lot of fun. If you ever need to feel good about yourself, hang out with some 1st graders because they will tell you how great you are. They are kind of like puppies that way - they love you no matter what.

On a different note:
Several weeks before Christmas, I received a flier from Petsmart that they would give me a free hamster/gerbil habitat and a free hamster or gerbil if I went to a link and requested it. Now I'm not much of a rodent kind of person, in fact they kind of scare me, but I thought what the heck it might be fun, so I filled out some form on a link and pretty much forgot all about it. Well, on Friday morning a rather large box was delivered to my classroom. I couldn't figure out what the heck it was and then I took a peek. I hadn't mentioned it to the kiddos so I had a little fun with them. I made them predict what they thought was in the box and then we ran out of time to open it so they had to wait several hours before we had any time again. I opened the box and they were so excited as we put together the cage but they were very upset with me that there was no gerbil in the box as I had to buy one and then they reimburse me. After trips to 3 different Petsmarts I finally found a gerbil and tomorrow morning it will be like Christmas all over again in my classroom. Am I crazy??? Probably but it's all about making those little people happy.

Raised by wolves

2010-01-21T20:09:00.006-07:00

So I realize that it is January and just about every child has some kind of runny nose or cough or some issues but really I don't think that means that I have to share all those germs. Really I'm all for sharing but no sickness please!

I started my student teaching 2 years ago this month and that is when the sicknesses started. I swear it felt like I was sick for the better part of a year and a half. It started in February of 2008 when a little sicko tyke coughed literally in my mouth. I was talking to him and he coughed his spittle cough right in my face and in my mouth as I was telling him to please cover his mouth. I honestly didn't know what to do - I wanted to scrape my tongue, drink a bottle of Listerine, or anything to keep myself from getting this crud. But you guessed it, a couple of days later I was sicker than I had been in years. I tried to go to school - I figured they were the ones who got me sick they should have to put up with me but I was simply too sick. Very quickly it turned into pneumonia (I had gotten the pneumonia shot in addition to the flu shot to prevent this very thing but ....)and if I remember right I missed 2 or 3 days of school. I would have stayed out longer but I had to come back because there was no substitute. I never fully recovered and less than two months later pneumonia again. This time I kept going to school and exposed all the rugrats. Sorry didn't have any sick time.

Summer brought me a reprieve and I thought that a couple of months not being around the germs had cured me. For goodness sakes, I should have been exposed to all these germs from my own children and the year before, surely I would escape the what all teachers told me would be the worst health year of my life. Apparently, all new teachers catch every single bug that comes into within 100 yards of their classroom or so I had been told. I was going to prove them all wrong. I got my flu shot early, took my vitamins, drank water, exercised, and all those other things that they say to do to prevent illness. Did it work? Ummm.... well.... no it didn't work even one bit. From January until April, I was constantly sick. Numerous trips to the doctor (strep throat, bronchitis a couple of times), antibiotics, and ultimately once again pneumonia (so much for that shot that is good until I'm 65. I must have gotten a defective dose). I was tested for TB, communicable pneumonia (didn't know there were different kinds), valley fever with everything coming back negative. The only thing I wasn't tested for was the Swine Flu because that was before they were testing for it and my family swears that is what I actually had.

Ok, all that history to say I thought I was doing pretty good this year. I got my regular flu shot in early September when they were first offered and got the H1N1 shot when it was offered at school and other than just a few sniffles and scratchy throats from time to time I've been fine. (Knock on wood)

But this being first grade and first graders being well first graders, I knew I was biding my time. This week has been very coughy and sniffly in the classroom. I'm constantly reminding the kiddos to please cover their mouths which most of them do automatically.

Then it happened. I was reading one of our favorite Junie B. Jones stories when "he" coughed in my face and mouth! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!! It is no less gross than the first time it happened. Personally, I think it's just plain rude even if you are 6. I mean has he been raised by wolves??? Or does he just not listen when I talk (more likely)? I mean this is the same kid that picks his nose and chews his fingers - ok, maybe he is raised by wolves.

Oh the joys

2010-01-13T20:37:00.003-07:00

Oh the joys of 1st grade!!!

Twice a year teachers in their first three years in my school district get "officially" observed by their Principal. It shouldn't really be such a big deal, I mean there is great teaching that goes on in classrooms every day that doesn't get noticed but there is just something nerve-racking about having the Principal come in and sit and write everything you say for an hour. And of course, when the principal is there is when everything seems to go totally and completely wrong. Maybe it's the performance pay that is associated with those observations. Bad observations mean all kinds of things but the bottom line is you don't get a little chunk of money in April if you don't have a good showing on those 2 visits.

So today was my second observation of the year. I'm done worrying about everything being perfect because for goodness sakes it's first grade and well, they are too unpredictable to count on perfect. So I decided to just relax and do what I do every day and just teach. Ok, I do admit that there may have been a few threats and promises of rewards.

Lest you think I always pick on Mr. Stinky Attitude I found myself defending him to the Principal today. You know how it seems like some people just make themselves a target and nothing they can do can change that. Well, Mr. Stinky Attitude has that target on his back and poor thing could not seem to do anything right according to the aides that work in the cafeteria. I watched the situation as this "gentleman" somewhat bullied Mr. Stinky Attitude to the point of where he was just about in tears. I intervened but by that point Mr. Stinky Attitude had gone from perfectly happy to now very snarly. I don't blame him I would be the same way if all I heard was how bad I am. Anyway, I ran into the Principal a few minutes later and told him that I didn't need the help of the cafeteria aides to make the stinky attitude come back for the afternoon and no wonder this kiddo can't put together a whole day of not being defiant to authority. (Oh and it's no wonder he got into a knockdown drag out fight during lunch recess)

However, the award for the best kiddo moment of the day came from my very own Junie B. Jones. Apparently, she had "puked" on the playground (I only had to hear that story 22 different times when I picked them up from lunch) and was now in the nurse's office. About 15 minutes later, she opens the door clearly with the sick child look.

"Are you going home?"

"No"

"What do you mean no? Didn't you throw up on the playground?"

"Yes, but I'm not going home"

"And the nurse told you to come back to class and that you weren't going home?" (remember she has the sick child face - glassy eyes, flushed)

"I'm not going home" (tears start)

I call the nurse and ask about this and she says that yes she is going home but that she tried to talk the nurse out of it because she didn't want to miss math.

Now she is hysterically bawling saying that she "is fine and doesn't want to go home. It's only cuz I ate too much and I don't want to miss math. Please let me stay. Please, Mrs. Davis, please."

If only they all had that enthusiasm. In fact, another student told her he would gladly go home if he had the chance (nice, gotta love 1st grade honesty).

Give him a hug

2010-01-11T20:51:00.002-07:00

So you may have been wondering, what ever happened to Mr. Stinky Attitude? No, I didn't magically "cure" him and the world is not all rosy. In fact, things are far from rosy.

A little history, the third week of school this child was suspended (I think it was for fighting but there have been so many I can't really remember off the top of my head) for the second time in the young school year. His grandmother went ballistic. No, not at her grandson but at me. You see it was my fault and I was a racist and yada yada yada. She pulled him out of school and took him to the "charter school". Two weeks later, the kiddo was back and grandma had requested that he be put back in my classroom (still don't get that one but .... ) Now grandma was as sweet as pie. There were problems at home (really??? I would have never thought that one) and come to find out his behavior wasn't my fault after all.

The stealing started shortly after that. First, it was just a couple of smelly pens (that's what the kids call them. They all smell like different kinds of fruit). Then it was several whole boxes of snacks other students had brought. Then it was several of my books from my classroom library. Each act of theft (or attempted theft really since he isn't all that good at it, thankfully) resulted in another suspension. Grandma has actually been supportive (other than the time she told me I shouldn't have things out that he would want to steal .... um ok, maybe he should just know that stealing is wrong no matter what it is).

After his lastest suspension, it was decided it was time for a Behavior Study Team (BST) meeting. Isn't that just a cool sounding title for a group? Really, it is just the school administration, the parents (grandparents in this case), me, and sometimes the school psychologist (don't even get me started about her).

The meeting was set for last Tuesday morning at 7:30. The gist of the meeting was that I (yes, I) need to reward him for his good behavior and kind of ignore the bad behavior. The theory being that he will want to work towards the reward. Ok, been there, done that, didn't work. It's not the reward he is after I contend but I don't have a fancy degree that says I understand kids - I just have one that lets me teach them. No one wants to listen to me on that one. And while I'm ignoring the bad behavior maybe I can figure out what makes him so angry and "give him strategies" to help him be more positive. Sorry, not my job (as a matter of fact, I believe that is the job of the person who has the degree that says they understand kids).

See, I can be a lot of things to these kiddos and I have to be to make up for what they are lacking in their home lives. I get that. I really do and it is something that I fully embrace. But for goodness sakes, there is only so much I can do. I have control over these kiddos for just about 7 hours every day. That leaves 17 hours where I have no control.

You know Hillary Clinton once said that "it takes a village to raise a child" and I think that's a load of crap. The village might "enrich" the life of a child but it is the parents job to raise the child. It is not the school's job to raise your child. It is not the teacher's job to raise your child (they don't pay me nearly enough for that). It is not the neighbors, or the coaches, or the police's, or anyone else's job to raise your child. IT IS YOUR JOB! For goodness sakes, take some responsibility.

Sorry, I'll get off my soapbox now and get back to my story.

So Mr. Stinky Attitude gets a sticker chart and when he acts appropriately he gets to put a sticker on it. And when he fills up his sticker chart he gets to pick a "reward". Negative behavior is ignored and I'm just supposed to "give him a hug" when he gives me the stink eye. Gotta love "liberal" teachers (that's what my hubby calls them). Personally, I pretty much think it's putting a band-aid on a gunshot wound but ok whatever I'll play along.

No Resolutions

2009-12-31T11:57:00.005-07:00

New years mean new beginnings right? It seems a like a cliche to talk about out with the old and in with the new and resolutions and yada yada yada.

That being said, I do think that it is important to reflect often and adapt to what life is throwing at you, so here are some of my thoughts for the New year (not resolutions, just thoughts):

1. My dear friend, Julie, has encouraged me to write some children's books. I am scared and thrilled at this prospect at the same time. I have some great ideas now I just need to get them on paper and see if anyone else cares to read what I write. Who knows, maybe I'll become rich and famous (and being able to afford that maid) but more likely it will be a way for me to learn from my own experiences.

2. Since my doctor has told me that "as you approach 40 you need to cross train more" (although mind you I am still years away from 40 and I wanted to punch him when he said that), I have decided to try and find a more suitable stress relief than running. I've recently taken up spin class (yes, the crazy class where the instructor yells at you to work harder). Not sure if that is going to be my replacement to daily runs but it is a heck of a workout.

3. In May, I will complete my Master's degree in Elementary Education. I need to decide what to do next. I know that sounds crazy to some, but I've been going to school for so long it seems silly to stop now. Do I complete another Master's in a different area or do I continue to a Ph.D?? Hmmmm, don't know about that one yet.

4. I'm considering switching grades next school year. I've always wanted to teach Kindergarten and maybe I'm crazy but I might just take the leap.

5. I just realized this week that I only have 6 more years until my oldest completes high school. Wow, time flies and I need to make more of an effort to spend more quality time with both of the kiddos. Too often after a hard day of dealing with other people's children, it's difficult to make time for your own.

6. And because life can't be all about work and school, I am planning my first ever trip to New York. Hopefully, it will be with all the girls in the family but at the very least it will be with my mom and my daughter.

Like I said, no resolutions for me as I find that they are too easily broken. I'm thinking of them more as goals and something for me to set my sights on.

What I "Wanted"

2009-12-25T20:39:00.005-07:00

"That's not what I wanted. In fact, I don't think that I ever mentioned that I wanted (insert item here)."

It's easy to get caught up in the "I wants" and the "wish lists" but whatever happened to "It's the thought that counts"?

I pride myself in listening carefully throughout the year to the people in my life and knowing what they want without having to rely on a list to tell me what to buy. But every year comes the question, "What do you want for Christmas?"

That's a good question. What do I "want" for Christmas? I would love a pair of Ugg boots (silly I know since I live in the desert but that's not the point - it's my wish list!), a new I-pod (yes, I already have one but who can't use the lastest and greatest??), season tickets to the Diamondbacks (pipe dream), a MAID (I hate housecleaning!), a trip back "home" to see my friends, World Peace (Ok, I just threw that to see if you were paying attention), etc.

See I don't really "need" anything. If I need something I buy it, so that makes Christmas gift giving kind of difficult for my loved ones. There are a lot of things that I "want" but that doesn't mean that I really "need" them. Do I need any of the above mentioned things? No (well, other than the maid maybe), but every year it does kind of make me ashamed of myself for asking for such silly things.

Yesterday, the DirecTV man came to change some hookups in the house and while he was a bit on the creepy side, he did say something that got me thinking. He told me that I was lucky to be able to provide such a nice Christmas for my children.

Yes, I am lucky that I can provide for my children. I am lucky that I have a job, a nice house, and car. I can put food on my table and the kids had more presents than they knew what to do with.

I have been very blessed but it isn't just about money or jobs. My children are healthy and happy. I am healthy as is my husband. I have a few wonderful friends whom I love dearly and cherish. I have been blessed that my parents live down the street and are a huge help to our family.

This time of the year is a good time to remember all the good things in life. No, I didn't get everything I "wanted" for Christmas but I have all that I really "need".

Jingle Bells, Batman Smells

2009-12-18T19:31:00.005-07:00

Several weeks ago, I opened my Sunday paper and saw something that I knew I had to make happen no matter what. I excitedly showed it to one of my fellow teachers who happened to have joined my family for breakfast that morning and we discussed how we could possibly make this work.

What was it you ask? Now this probably will mean nothing to you if you don't have a youngster at home but this is truly huge for a first grader - it was the play Junie B. Jones Jingle Bells, Batman Smells (P.S. so does May).

Who the heck is Junie B. Jones you might ask? Junie B. Jones is the main character in the book series of the same name. She is everything that a first grader wishes they were - funny, silly, lovable and very often irreverent. She says things that they all wish they could say but don't because they know it will get them in trouble. The books always have some great moral dilemma and lesson and it is related in such a wonderful way to the 6 year old mind.

Anyway, back to my story - I immediately went online and found the website for the theater and found that it was $20 per ticket. No way, no how! I was disappointed until I found a link for field trips and found that it was $8 per ticket - still pricey but maybe just maybe we could beg and plead enough to the principal to get this funded.

The only tickets still available were for today - the last day before Christmas Break and an early release day. This was going to be a really tough sell. The first answer back was no, you need to find another day to go (apparently, I was supposed to wave my magic wand and make tickets available for another day). We played the poor kids card. It went something like this - this is such a great opportunity for our students and is not one that many of them will ever have unless we provide it for them. You know some of them have never even been out of town, blah, blah, blah. The principal said he would see what he could do since it was the bus that was a problem with the craziness of early release days and all.

Long story short, the principal came through and made it happen on one condition - we had to find the funding for it. It's tough economic times for the schools still so this wasn't one of the activities deemed academically necessary. We assured him we would make it happen and if he could front the money (from wherever they hide it) and we would repay it by the end of the month.

We arrived at the Tempe Center for the Arts which sits on a beautiful Tempe Town Lake. The kiddos were in awe of the building and we were shown to our seats (we made it with 10 mins to spare before the beginning - more than a little stress about that). I watched their eyes light up as the play started. There was lots of laughter and oohs and ahs and they behaved so wonderfully (Mr. Stinky attitude didn't get to accompany us and the same cannot be said for all the schools that were there.)

The grand total $392. Was it worth it? It was worth every penny to see those smiles and wonderment. For many of these kiddos it really was a once in a lifetime opportunity and I'm glad that I was able to make it happen even if it is going to affect my own checkbook (at least it's a tax write off).

Annoyance

2009-12-15T20:14:00.003-07:00

So the day started off less than stellar. I was annoyed for the minute I woke up. Not at anything in particular but just annoyed. You know how those days go, nothing is going to go right and make you happy no matter what it is.

Yesterday, Mr. Stinky attitude told me that he was moving and wouldn't be back to school. Secretly I was crossing my fingers and toes and everything else I could think of to maybe make this come true. But you guessed it - it was just a grand scheme on his part for attention - he was the first kiddo I saw in the hall this morning. Darn it all that crossing and hoping was for naught! I put on my best teacher voice and smile and said I was so happy to see him and glad he didn't move (these kind of lies don't count do they?).

I could tell how the day was going to go the minute we walked into the room and he refused to take his chair down or his sweatshirt hood off and promptly crawled under his desk and pulled his jacket over his head in an effort to ignore me further.

I truly feel sometimes it is a conspiracy on his part to make me crazy or annoyed or whatever but there are times when I wish we could re-instate corporal punishment for just one day. This was one of those times.

What did I do? Well, I told him again what he had to do, explained it was not an option that he was going to listen and obey me whether he wanted to or not and then I walked back to my desk to watch what he did and I drank my coffee. All the while getting more and more annoyed.

He finally complies when I ignore his behavior. The resistant behavior and my annoyance grow for the next hour.

About an hour and a half into the school day, another student walks up to my desk. Did I mention that I am annoyed? At this point, I don't want to talk to any child but I'm trying really hard to be nice to the rest of them. It's not their fault this brat is trying to ruin our day.

"Mrs. Davis have you ever felt djfsdd (he said a word but I couldn't understand it sounded like Charlie Brown's teacher)?

"What?"

"Have you ever felt kjkjj?"

"One more time."

"Have you ever felt KJJJ?"

(Oh just shoot me now)

"Sweetie, have I ever felt what? I can't understand what you are asking"

"Snow"

"Oh, have I ever felt snow?"

"Yeah"

"Yes, I've felt snow before."

"What's it feel like?"

"Well, it's cold and well it's kinda of like ice, I guess. Why?"

"I'm going to the snow for 3 days for Christmas."

"Oh how fun! Have you ever been to the snow before?"

"Nope, I've only seen it in books and on TV. That's why I asked you what it's like so I would know what to expect."

End of my annoyance. I'm glad I took the few seconds to talk to "Bobby" because it reminded that there are 22 other kiddos who didn't do a darn thing to make me annoyed and they didn't deserve my grumpiness.

Did my day get better? No - Mr. Stinky Attitude got into a fight with a 2nd grader in the bathroom and then decided yet again to steal things from me. Was I upset? I sure was but I decided that I can't let a 7 year old dictate the course of my class' day. If he wants to be a pain so be it. I can't change that and I'm done jumping through hoops to try and make 1 child happy at the expense of 22 others.

Stinky attitude

2009-12-03T20:41:00.004-07:00

As soon as he opened the door after the tardy bell rang I knew what kind of day that he and I were going to have. He had a scowl on his face and his hoodie pulled over his head trying to cover his eyes; he, also, did not have a late pass in his hand, so I had to send him back to the office to get one. Shoulders slump, moan, groan, mumble under breath, slam the door and stomp down the hall.

Oh boy, I really didn't want to deal with this. Is it wrong that when I saw that he wasn't there I secretly did a little mental cheer? Or when I asked the kids if anyone had seen him on the playground and everyone said no that I breathed a sigh of relief? I crossed my fingers and toes and did everything I could think of to give myself a little luck that he wouldn't show up. No sooner did I do all that than the door opened and there he was. (OK I might have had a little shoulder slump and moan and groan too).

I know this sounds incredibly mean coming from a 1st grade teacher but this one child changes the whole dynamic of my classroom. When he is gone, most everything goes good. The kids are happy and well behaved (well, mostly) and I think man, I love these kids. But this child changes all of that. For some reason when he is there, everyone is naughty and argues and fights. I guess this could just be my perception but there is a a definite change in the behaviors in general and that is when I question why I decided to leave my much better paying job for this?

He comes back from the office with his pass in hand, which he promptly throws on my desk, and shuffles to his seat. I put on my nice teacher voice when what I really want to do is use my mommy you need a spanking voice and I ask him to please take off the sweatshirt and tuck in his uniform shirt. He looks at me and does nothing. It's like a battle of wills which he finally decides that he can't win and he complies, grumping all the way.

I ask him to come over to my desk and ask, "What's wrong?" Nothing. "(Insert name) what's wrong?" Still nothing. "Well, if you don't want to tell me that's fine but you came in with a stinky attitude and it needs to go away." Still nothing. (He is now winning the battle of wills). He still says nothing as I tell him to go back to his seat.

Fast forward to later in the day. Stinky attitude has come and gone several times throughout the day. It's like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde - one minute he is happy and laughing and the next he is pouting and trying to hide from me. It literally wears me out.

Finally, at the end of the day, he comes up to my desk. By this point, I really don't care why he is upset, I'm done dealing with it. Heartless?? Maybe because I truly know that he really just wants attention but there 22 other kids that want and need attention too and they don't have a stinky attitude. I can't spend all day coaxing, begging and pleading with him, at some point I have to get some teaching done.

I fight the urge to say "What do you want?" in my most sarcastic voice. Instead, I turn and smile at him and say, "What's up kiddo?"

"Mrs. Davis, I try to make it go away but it won't"

"What?"

"It won't go away."

"What won't go away?"

"My attitude. I keep trying to make it go away but it keeps coming back."

"Why?"

"I don't know why, it just keeps coming back."

"Ok, sweetie let's just try and have a better day tomorrow ok?"

Was it a better day today? Yes and no. This child clearly has some issues that I can't solve. Mom recently got out of prison for her involvement with a homicide several years ago but she has been in and out of jail his whole life. He lives in a house with 9 adults and countless children so who knows what happens in that house on a daily basis.

No wonder he comes to school with a stinky attitude and can't make it go away. I try and understand his circumstances but, man oh man, sometimes he makes it very difficult.

Charlie Brown

2009-11-30T21:07:00.006-07:00

Have you ever truly looked at the face of a child as they look in wonder at something? It is an amazing thing to witness. There is an unabashed awe and joy that can be seen in their little eyes.

I can't remember the last time that I truly felt that way about someone or something but I have to tell you that I witnessed it 22 times this morning as 22 little people came back into the classroom after being off for the past four days for Thanksgiving break.

You see, I put up a Christmas tree in the classroom over the weekend. To me it wasn't really that big of a deal. I had this sad looking little tree that my husband made me get last year for the house because he was tired of lugging the other tree in and out of the garage every year. This is not a tree that should adorn a house trust me, I was so happy to have an excuse to get it out of my house and still be able to put it to use. It reminds me of the tree from Charlie Brown but I figured what the heck, I'll put it up in the classroom. The kids would love it and plus I love Christmas and as long as it's at school, I don't have to worry that it might end up in my living room again this year.

I was prepared for the ooh's and aah's and I knew they would love the sparkling lights but I wasn't prepared for the looks in their eyes. To them it wasn't a Charlie Brown Christmas tree, it might as well been the tree in Rockefeller Center for all the excitement that was displayed. For a minute, it brought tears to my eyes to watch their excitement. One of the boys was so excited because his desk was so close to the tree and he kept telling me how great it was.

Later on in the day, we talked about the tree a little more. I asked the kids if they had Christmas trees yet (see I still take it for granted that every house has one or will have one). The same boy who was so excited to be sitting by the tree said he wouldn't be getting one because there isn't any room in the hotel room that they are living in to put up a tree. Yes, you read that right - he lives in a hotel room and has for the past 6 months with 1 grown adult and 2 teenage boys and himself - no wonder there is no room for a tree.

I learned last year how tough this time of the year can be for these kids. I gave every one of my students a wrapped book for Christmas. I spent $1 a book and everyone got the same book. It really wasn't that big of deal to me - well until after Christmas that is. I was asking the students to pick their 1 favorite gift to tell me about since they were talking over each other to tell me all the gifts. I went around the classroom and had them tell me what they liked the most and why and I came to a little girl who said "I didn't get anything for Christmas." "What?? Nothing??" "No, the only present I got was the one that you gave me. My mom said that Santa was just too busy this year to stop at our house."

What do you even say to that?

It was then that I decided I would have a tree this year and stockings and a book or 2 and maybe even a toy. Everyone should get to celebrate Christmas - especially if you are 6.

I wish I still had the eyes of a child where life held such wonder and awe, even if it was only for one day when I looked at the "Charlie Brown" Christmas tree and saw it for more than just a sad little tree.

The Birthday Nazi

2009-11-23T17:54:00.011-07:00

Ok, before you get offended by the title of my post let me explain. Several years ago, I met a wonderful teacher who didn't "do" birthday parties in the classroom. That is not to say she didn't acknowledge the child and make a big deal of their birthday, she just didn't do the whole cake or cupcake thing. She had a letter where she asked parents to save their money and simply donate a book to the classroom library. This way rather than acknowledging their child for about 15 minutes, their child would be reminded of their gift every time someone enjoyed the book that was donated.

Sounded like a great idea. I mean cupcakes are (1) expensive (2) messy (3) just generally a pain in the behind since no one ever gets the color/flavor/ring on top etc. that they want. Plus, our day is packed, we simply do not have time to take out of our day to deal with all of this.

I took this idea and ran with it. I explained it at the beginning of last school year. Many parents looked at me suspiciously like I was trying to abolish Christmas or something but for the most part they played along. About a week before the given child's birthday, I would send a note home explaining the whole process all over again and asking parents to send the book wrapped so that their birthday child could open it in front of the class and then we would add a little name placard with who donated it. The kids loved it. I'm sure they probably would have loved the cupcakes and hoopla too but like I said I was being the birthday Nazi or that at least is what my husband began to call me.

His reasoning you ask? He argued that if the parents wanted to spend their money of their child and make a big deal about it, then I should let them. Most of these kids don't get birthday parties so this might be the only celebration that they would get. I agree with his point of view, well kind of.

So in the middle of last year, I relented. I didn't make a formal announcement or anything. I just stopped sending home my little note and the cupcakes started coming. Don't get me wrong, I want the kids to enjoy their birthdays I just don't think that it has to happen with cupcakes that are at least $6 a dozen and have 2 inches of frosting on top. For goodness sakes, do they really need that much sugar while they are in my care??

This summer I had one of those ah-ha moments. My school district requires that all teachers attend a training called A Framework for Understanding Poverty based on the book by Dr. Ruby Payne. This class was fantastic and made me realize at times I was fighting a losing battle. I have never lived in poverty so I didn't know that my whole birthday "policy" was going against one of those characteristics of poverty and that is something I needed to be more aware of.

Please understand, I am in no way saying that I am superior to anyone because I am not poor but there truly are "rules" or characteristics of all the "classes" in our society and I had been inadvertently imposing my rules on people who didn't understand them nor care about them.

You see in poverty, there is an emphasis on social interactions and love and acceptance are conditional based upon whether the person is liked. Money is spent when they have it and there is no sense of needing to save. While I was thinking that I was saving parents money, what I was really doing was not letting them show their child love the only way that they know how and not allowing their children to be socially accepted (in their eyes at least).

So it is with that realization, that I retired the birthday Nazi. I still dread their birthdays because I know it means utter chaos for me but I, also, try and remember how exciting a birthday can be.

All that being said, reluctantly today I carted my 22 little darlings outside to sit and enjoy their birthday cupcakes. Yes, I make them eat them outside where the mess gets enjoyed by the various critters and I don't have to clean a darn thing up (I mean I'm not crazy)! There were smiles and laughter and spills and mess but I mostly didn't care about all that. It was fun!

I would still rather enjoy a good book - although I do have a bit of a weakness for that butter cream frosting that comes on those evil cupcakes.

The way it should be

2009-11-18T20:19:00.004-07:00

I don't know how much you remember of being in 1st grade. I know that I don't remember much of it - I mean it was - wow - almost 30 years ago.

I remember that my teacher was mean. I won't share her name on the off chance that someone who knows her is reading this but she was an old German lady. She had a thick German accent and she was "old" school. Children were to be seen and not heard even at school.

I don't remember much of that year other than that I dressed up as an angel for Halloween (only remember that because I have a picture), met a girl who remained my best friend for the next several years, President Reagan got shot, and Mrs. O (as I'll call her) had a big paddle and she spanked kids in the classroom behind the file cabinet by her desk. (See it was a LONG time ago - corporal punishment was still allowed in school.)

While I don't remember exactly what we did in class, I know what we did not do. We certainly did not have at least 3 tests per week, spend 2 hours every morning practicing phonics, or have to get timed to see how fast we could read.

First grade is supposed to be about having fun. It is supposed to be about coloring, painting, recess, singing and still having time to learn. That is so not what 1st grade is these days. It's all about numbers and politics and nonsense like that. It is not something that I agree with nor something that I can change.

However, every now and then we bend the rules (SHHHH don't tell anyone) and then I get to see 1st grade the way that it is supposed to be.

It all started with an idea that we should make pumpkins out of a paper bag stuffed with newspaper and then paint them. Yeah great idea!

First of all, I hate paint. I hate it with my own children and I hate it with 60 kids who aren't my own children. It's messy, there is always someone who doesn't follow directions and paints themselves or the person next to them, no one ever wants to clean up, somehow I end up with paint all over my good clothes even if I stay across the room from the painters. Did I mention, I hate paint?

Well, guess who got elected to supervise the painting? You see, I found out that all the other teachers hate paint too and being the low man on the totem pole I got elected.

The kids were so excited. You would have thought it was Christmas morning. They were laughing and singing and having a great time. No one was arguing over who cut in front of who and who got more, it was just smiling and laughter.

Yes, there were a couple who didn't follow directions and got paint all over themselves, the table and the person next to them. And yes, I was the only one who had to clean up the mess. Yes, I got paint on my clothes but it was washable paint and came out.

It was then I realized we had this whole 1st grade thing wrong. Maybe if we spent less time on the "drill and kill" method of teaching and more on making school fun, everyone's life would be much happier.

I think sometimes we forget how little they are and think of them as just little adults. I try to remind myself what it was like to be 6 and while I can't really remember I know that I don't want these kids to remember me like I remember my 1st grade teacher.

So, am I going to bend the rules more often??? YES I am (but just don't tell anyone) because this is how 1st grade should be.

Although, maybe corporal punishment does need to make a return to public schools. Just kidding. Well on second thought maybe it's not such a bad idea.

Who's in a Family?

2009-11-04T20:33:00.002-07:00

"Who's in a Family?"

That's the title of our story in reading this week. It is a cute little story with all these pictures of different families and how great it is when you take pictures with your family.

I know you are thinking - "yeah and ..... "

Well, one of the questions that I am supposed to get the kids discussing the book is about a time that they have taken a family picture. How about never for some of them; so I decide rather than ask that question, I am going to talk about families in general.

I show the kids a picture of a very nice, very white, very obvious affluent family all smiling with their perfect smiles in front of their beautiful white HUGE house with it's white picket fence and perfect lawn and their equally perfect dog and I realize right as a I start to say it that I probably shouldn't but I say it any way - "Everyone has a mom and dad. Maybe yours doesn't look like this (Yeah um no yours doesn't) but even if your mom or dad doesn't live with you. All of use have a mom or dad."

I'm get ready to say something else when I am interrupted.

"Mrs. Davis, my dad got arrested and he was supposed to go to jail but he lied to the police and faked being sick so they took him to the doctor instead so he didn't have to go to jail."

"Oh really, well that doesn't seem like the right thing to do does it?"

"No, but he didn't have to go to jail" (Ok, how can I argue with that? No wonder I spend most of my day trying to get this kiddo to not act impulsively and punch people in the face.)

Another kiddo speaks up, "Mrs. Davis, my daddy is dead. He got shot in the head right across the street from the school" (I remember who her dad was from my previous job. His death started a bit of a gang war in town)

I really need to get this conversation under control now. Everyone now wants to tell me about how their mom or dad is in jail or dead or in a gang or what not.

The saddest part of this whole conversation was that it occurred with no emotion from any of the kids. Not one of them was crying about their father's death or jail time. It was just so matter of fact.

So how did I get it all back under control? I simply said, "I love hearing about all your families but we really have to move on. I just wanted to point out to you that even if mom or dad doesn't live with you now, that at some point you did have a mom and a dad just like the people in this picture".

Note to self: next time just ignore what the darn teacher's manual tells you to talk about. These kids don't need anyone else reminding them of how perfect the rest of the world seems.

To them it is not just a picture - it is a reminder of something that most of them will never have.

It makes one wonder

2009-10-27T20:11:00.003-07:00

Last week, a very nice lady who works with the University of Arizona on a grant teaching school kiddos about nutrition came to our school and talked to the first graders about "MOOving to lowfat milk". She had all these great props - fake food, real food, books, a cow and "Mr. Bones" the skeleton.

Let me tell you a little about "Mr. Bones". He is this skeleton that is about 2 or so feet tall and he is tied to some kind of stand so that he appears to be standing so the kiddos can see all his bones. Pretty cool prop until I looked around his neck.

Because around his neck is a red rag.

I know you are thinking so what? What's the big deal about the red rag?

Well, the big deal about the red rag is that many of these kiddos come from gang families. Unlike my own children who wouldn't notice what was around the neck nor would they care what color it was, these kids will notice and they will care.

I saw the rag only after all the kids had headed out into where we were going to be having this "lesson". I thought for a second about saying something to this lovely woman about the rag but then promptly got distracted by trying to direct 50 1st graders to sit down and show "active listening" or else they would be removed from the presentation and could sit in another classroom.

That is when I heard it.

"The skeleton has on his colors"

"Yeah, serious he is flying his colors"

Me: Double take - Did I just hear that? No, I didn't really did I? I know I did but I decide I'm not going to say anything and make it a bigger deal.

But then I hear it again from the same kiddos.

Now I know I have to say something to the two of them. Very quietly I tell them that is not appropriate right now and that is the end of it.

In the kiddo's defense, it did look like he was "flying his colors" but I'm sure this poor lady hadn't even given it a second thought (but at least it was the right color for the neighborhood).

The whole thing got me thinking, it is a sad day when we have to warn people that are coming to do presentations (for free I might add) that they need to double check that nothing could be construed as a gang affiliation of any kind. They are only 1st graders for goodness sakes.